huh?

The results...

2006-10-24T22:37:00.000-05:00

Time for a rewrite...

If anyone wants to see the rather large chunk SS took outta my ass, it's up on Triggerstreet.

No news is good news?????

2006-10-11T23:16:00.000-05:00

Evidently, that's the reasoning that my fellow Screenplay of the Month nominees and I have been forced to adopt since we have yet to receive coverage of our scripts from the infamous Shark. According to a thread that was started on TS's message board (no, not by moi) the Shark was swamped last month and we should expect to lose our pounds of flesh either at the end of this week or sometime in the first part of next week.

I'll keep y'all posted.

UPDATE

There's still no news to report. It's the END of the "next week" and we've heard nada, zip, bupkus from those cold blooded fish with teeth. Of course we won't hear anything over the weekend, the EXPO is going on and SS is a participant... so I guess you could say, they've got bigger fish to fry.

Sigh.

If it ain't one thing it's another...

2006-09-18T22:20:00.000-05:00

As we all know, I got the "thanks for playing" letter from the Nicholl. And, as we all also know, I've been pretty absent from the internet due to working on this house... included in that neglect was not only my little blog here, but also my participation on Triggerstreet. So, imagine my surprise when my cell rang and it was Ian, from Triggerstreet, calling to tell me that my script is one of the 3 nominees for this month's (September's) Screenplay of the Month. He explained that I had some paper work to do and that I had to keep my mum about it until they had made the announcement about the SOM nominees. The paperwork was a release authorizing Scriptshark to do coverage of my script. (If you get nominated, then your script is submitted [free of charge to the writer] to Scriptshark for their standard coverage.) Evidently SS gives a numerical value to the scripts they read... I wouldn't know, I've never submitted to them... the script with the highest score is the Screenplay of the Month. Triggerstreet has nothing to do with judging the scripts, Scriptshark does it all. In the three years that Triggerstreet has been around Scriptshark has only deemed three scripts worthy of any marketing attempts. I've no idea if my work is ready for that (being that the version on TS is the second draft, see the story about the first draft here). It will be very interesting to see what they've got to say about it...

If you'd care to read the script, Regular Army is available on Triggerstreet. It's easy to find, look for the Screenplay section, click on the link for Screenplay of the Month and presto viola, it'll be there. After the shark bites me in the ass, their coverage will be available there too. Wish me luck, I'm off to find a steel cage...

Happy Birthday, Dad!

2006-08-22T23:28:00.000-05:00

Today is my Dad's 75th birthday. I would have called him but the crazy (and I mean insane) woman that he's married to hasn't let me talk to him in a couple of years. Whenever I call, he's ALWAYS "napping", "out for a walk" or "gone with your brother". EVERY TIME. Yeah, likely story, crazy lady. So, I guess that I'll just say Happy birthday to him here.

I love you, Dad. Happy Birthday!
Signed,
Your little one.

LA Love?

2006-08-03T20:07:00.000-05:00

Nope.

Got a nice note today from Mr Beal, but that's it.

I'm a member of Triggerstreet and we're all dropping like flies. Top Ten scripts, Scripts of the Month, nominiees for Script of the month... shot down in flames.

Ah well, so it goes. It's all a crap shoot anyways.

Mad Max is truly mad...

2006-08-01T00:16:00.000-05:00

When Mel Gibson first burst on the screen in Mad Max, he was a hot young guy who's beliefs were hidden from sight.

No longer.

Seems that the man who made the movie that could do no wrong in the eyes of evangelical "Christian's" has shown himself to be a vulgar anti-Semitic bigot as well as an ignorant sexist (sugar tits????). For years, his father has railed against the Jewish people, sometimes claiming that the Holocaust was wildly exaggerated and that the Germans didn't exterminate Jews in the camps.

Don't believe me about his Dad? Here.
(I don't blame you, I wouldn't believe me either if I wasn't, well, you know, me...)

NOW, we have good old Mel making the same kinds of outrageous and bigoted statements... I'm sooo glad I never saw Mel's version of Christ's crucifixion. He co-wrote it, he directed it and he produced it... seems the Jewish communities' concerns about anti-Semitism weren't wrong.

Guess the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree... and that worms do go from one bad apple to another.

I jumped off the "Mel is great" bandwagon a while ago. See, not only is he a anti-Semite, he's a homphobe too. Don't believe me about that? Here's a quote from Wiki:

Some gay rights groups have accused Gibson of homophobia for a 1992 interview in the Spanish magazine El Pais. In the interview, when asked what he thought of gay people, he said, "They take it up the ass." Gibson then bent over and pointed to his buttocks, saying "This is only for taking a shit." When the interviewer recalled that Gibson previously had expressed fear that people would think he is gay because he's an actor, Gibson responded in saying "Do I sound like a homosexual? Do I talk like them? Do I move like them?" Gibson later defended his comments on Good Morning America, saying "I don't think there's an apology necessary, and I'm certainly not giving one. [Those remarks were a response] to a direct question. If someone wants my opinion, I'll give it. What, am I supposed to lie to them?"

Another thing I've noticed over the years is that he's had numerous drunk driving arrests. I don't care if you ARE an alcoholic, get a fucking cab! He's one of the wealthiest men in all of Hollywood, it ain't like he can't afford one. Hell, if you KNOW you're a lush, (He's made several statements to the press stating that he has a problem with alcohol) then why not have a limo on standby if a cab is too pedestrian for you? Again, it ain't like he can't afford it.

I have no sympathy for his current state. None. He's a religiously dogmatic, anti-Semitic homophobe who isn't smart enough to call a cab and I'm supposed to feel sorry for him?

Not happening.

Feels like 103....

2006-07-20T22:27:00.000-05:00

degrees that is...

It's CRAZY hot here in the Southeast and I'm about to roast to death working on this house...

Things that have already been done...

All of the demolition has been taken care of, the nasty carpet (that no one EVER vaccumed) has gone bye-bye, just like the kitchen cabinets and that horrid flooring have, along with the 1970's style (tacky ass) wrought iron columns the were "supporting" the carport.

The ugly black gloss paint on the trim of the house has been covered in a nice crisp white (a coat of Kilz and 3.. yes 3 coats of paint later), I have created columns for the carport, leveled the kitchen floor, installed slate (yes, SLATE) and put together all the kitchen cabinets for installation (tomorrow). We've bought stainless steel appliances (Craigslist... gotta love getting a whale of a deal on the stove and sink, faucet,refrig and dishwasher!), and I'm going to make a granite tiled counter top. So, by Monday, the entire kitchen will be done... Oh, and I got the coolest lighting... halogens on wires!

They look like this:

The cabinets look like this:

The slate looks like this:

Amelie Mauresmo wins Wimbeldon!

2006-07-08T17:08:00.000-05:00

The only "Out" female tennis player has won her first Wimbeldon title!

YOU GO GIRL!

Amelie Mauresmo affirmed her lesbianism back in 1999, after being called "half a man" by Martin Hingis. She's the only female tennis player who's been out of the closet for her entire professional career. She is only the 2nd lesbian to win such a prestigious event. (I don't count Billie Jean King as she's not really a lesbian, having been married for quite number of years before getting divorced in 1987.)

Amelie Mauresmo and her then lover, in 1999. According to wikipedia, she has a new girlfriend which she has kept out of the spotlight.

I never believed in Nostradamus before...

2006-06-29T13:07:00.000-05:00

Now, I believe...

That ol' black magic....

2006-06-22T23:57:00.000-05:00

So, this past Saturday night, I went to an old friend's birthday party... where I ran into a woman that I dated years ago. Here's how it came about...

J: Hey, have you seen C?

Me: C?

J: Yeah.

Me: Is she here? Did she drive up from Columbus?

J: No.

Me: Wait. Huh?

J: She moved back up here.

Me: She did!? When!?

J: Why'nt you ask her yourself? She's right over there...

Me: Huh?

Frankly folks, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I hadn't seen her in a good 10 years and I had no clue that she had moved back to Atlanta. But, there she was. A blast from the past... who's still a knockout. It sure didn't look like time had taken any toll on her. Maybe it's those green eyes, that still slim body or the quick kiss she gave me when we said good bye... whatever it was, she still looks "hot". I'm sure her current girlfriend would agree.

To keep this post tied to the screenwriting thing, I'll share a fond memory of "C" and I's dating history. One night she came over to my house for dinner and a movie (I had picked up "Tin Men" earlier that day.) We were still in the early stages of dating so it was inevitable that we would, at some point in the night, be making out... Before playing the movie, I asked her if she had seen the movie, she said she hadn't but wanted to and I told her that I loved Richard Dreyfuss and Danny Devito so we should really enjoy the movie. Ok, cut to about 45 minutes to an hour into the film, and recall the "inevitably making out" part... I had been kissing her neck on and off for a while when, for some reason, I asked her how she liked the movie. She responded with something that still puts a smile on my face.

C:(in a daze) "Movie? What movie?"

To this day, I've never seen "Tin Men". Not all of it anyways.

Ever wonder how you let THAT ONE get away?

Jus' a splash of pink!

2006-06-14T00:23:00.000-05:00

Told you it was U.G.L.Y!

What the HELL has she been doing?

2006-06-06T01:37:00.000-05:00

She don't call, she don't write and she sho as hell ain't been bloggin'! Did she up and move and not tell nobody?

Relax...

Forgive me, peeps, for I have been MIA. I've barely written a thing in a couple weeks (and my stats are suffering for it). Wanna know why? Ok, kiddies, pull up a chair and Mama WG will do some show and tell...

See this?

This, comrades, is a house that I will be closing on in 5 days. Yep, 5 days.

Wait one ding dang sec, there! Wudn't she 'posed to move to LA?

Well, see, here's the thing... those people in LA... they think a WHOLE LOT of their real estate. So much more than we do in the South. 800sq foot for $1650 a month is NOT anyone's idea of Southern hospitality, although it seems that it IS LA's idea of "hospitality". So, I'm going to be spending something close to $3300.00 before I move in for a place to park the furniture and lay my head at night? YIKES! Additional monies for a security deposit, and MORE money (this time, non-refundable) for my darling Sophie... and (how the hell do I get the bug-eyed I'm shocked simile to show here?) they want to charge an additional PER MONTH pet rent? Holey moley, you LA folks are sho proud of your apartments! THEN, there's the 3K to move my furniture across the nation, and THEN there's the flying out there to LOOK at the above mentioned "apartments", and the flying back to collect my puppy Sophie, (Yeah, so what if she's 9? She'll always be MY puppy.. just like you'll always be yo Momma's "baby"... she don't care if you ARE 50!) only to fly both of us BACK out there, and then buying a vehicle upon arrival since we all know that "Walking in in LA" is a great song, but, really, not that much fun or practical!

BIG BUCKS, which, frankly, I don't feel like spending. Oh, I can cover it, but THEN what? Job? Hmmm, well, yes, I do have a very portable job but you know, it would take a few months (at the very least) to get a good buzz going about my remodeling skills. I'm not foolish enough to think that my screenwriting will be paying the bills from day one... so let's see... roughly 8-9K to make the MOVE and then... only a (VERY) thin cushion afterwards? Nah, see, I don't think so.

So? Did WG give up on the idea of screenwriting and moving out to LA to meet, greet and conquer?

Nah...

Just thought I'd buy a coupla houses that are in dire need of re-habbing, fix them and sell them (after they've gotten the special sprinkling of fairy dust only I can give them), saving my profits so that I CAN move out there and have a FAT cushion to park my behind on.

The picture above is of the house that my best friend and I have found (painstakingly searching for it was mostly MY job since he wouldn't know a good deal if it bit him... yet. I'll learn him.) Here's a few pictures of the inside of the house... consider these "before"s and I'll post "after"s when we are ready to sell the thing.

The back of the house... needs LOTS of help. When next you see it, it'll have french doors and a new deck. The tree is going bye-bye.

From the inside, looking out. This needs some cleaning, some paint and refinishing of the hardwoods.

Yeah, I know... not pretty! Don't worry, it will be.

So, for the next coupla months... you know where to find me. For the most part, I'll be MIA from blogging. Somehow, with the workload staring at me, I doubt I'll have much time to show up here. I'll try to post every few days, but no promises! No, I'm not abandoning blogging or screenwriting, just making a practical choice.

Stay tuned for "before" pictures of the bathroom (Run! Really! It's scary in there!)

The Five "S"s of a great vacation!

2006-05-30T17:39:00.000-05:00

Sun

Sand

Surf

Sky

Sex

Oh well, 4 outta 5 ain't bad....

Hope y'all had a great Memorial Day weekend!

One hour of my life wasted....

2006-05-24T00:59:00.000-05:00

Frankly, I don't understand what all the fuss is about.

Katherine has a decent voice, but she seems to do best at ballads, and torch singers ain't exactly burning up the charts right now. She's pretty enough, but her taste in clothing is awful (usually). Plus, honey, she needs to get OFF the freaking floor! What's UP with that???

Taylor? He twitches like someone just hit him with a Tazer. His voice is okay, but I'd NEVER go see him in concert. If I want to see something THAT ugly, I'll drive over to the next semi-truck wreck on I-285, that would be eaiser on the eyes than his constant herking and jerking. (Enough with the fuckin' "Soul Patrol" and waving his fists in the air.) Don't he know?

...Arsenio's retired.

Both new singles suck.

I don't give a rat's behind WHO wins.

Yes, that IS exactly how I feel about it.

Stranger than fiction...

2006-05-20T00:32:00.000-05:00

Posted as part of a thread on the TS message board the other day, this was so funny and so true to life, I had to share it with everybody...

I got a call from MCI today asking me to switch my service so I could have a lower bill. When I said I would only switch if I could get Qwest and that the phone companies are turning over their records to the government, he asked me where I got that information.

When I told him it's been all over the news, he asked me if I believed everything I hear on the news.

"You don't believe everything on the news, do you?"

No, but I do believe everything that phone salesmen tell me. They are like Gods to me, I tell you. Gods.

Join the Navy, see the world...

2006-05-16T23:36:00.000-05:00

Join the National Guard, see the desert... in Texas and Iraq.

What a stupid, stupid, stupid idea. Even if I thought this was a good idea (which I don't) the National Guard is getting sent to "guard" the border with NO POWER! No power to arrest, no power to do much of anything, really.

Reminds me of the ONE time I had to stand guard duty. (I was Soldier of the Month at Company & Battalion levels, along with other things that got me excused from CQ and guard duty.) So, there we were out on manuevers, camped out on bivouac in the Black Forest some freaking where, when a German national streaked his naked self through the GP large tent we were in.

Of course he'd been watching us all afternoon as we set up and knew which one was the women's tent.

So, sometime after dark, he streaks through, there's loads of shrieking and someone in the Command Tent decides we need to do a perimeter guard all night. Several different posts around the perimeter and 2 hours for each shift. BUT, rather than issue us bullets for the M16s that we were already carrying, they gave us TENT STAKES. Yes, TENT STAKES. Now, since the perimeter had ALREADY been breached once, do you suppose that the "boogie men" out there in the night were going to stop when we waved a FUCKING TENT STAKE at them? Do you think if they really wanted to breach the perimeter again, a sleepy, droopy soldier waving a FUCKING TENT STAKE would have stopped them? Do you? I didn't then and I don't now.

Sending the National Guard to the border is about as effective as me waving a fucking TENT STAKE.

A harbinger of things to come?

2006-05-16T01:12:00.000-05:00

Seems I've earned myself a "blue star" on Triggerstreet. I uploaded the same script that I sent in to the Nicholl, and it seems that 5 people, who gave me "ranking reviews", liked it enough to give it a thumbs up and me a "blue star". Which, for those who don't know much about Triggerstreet (TS from now on), is the symbol they give you when you've been selected as one of the Top Ten scripts on the site. (I'm somewhere in the Top Ten with roughly 2500 scripts currently uploaded onto the TS site.) So, I've been given the stamp of approval of my TS peers (You MUST have 3 "ranking reviews" [where TS has assigned your script to random reviewers] to be "ranked" and are required to have a minimum of 5 "ranking reviews" to be considered for the Top Ten.) Which means... everyone who's read my script (so far) thought it was good. I can only hope and pray that my script meets with similar approval in the wilds of Hollywood.

Color me pleased...

Meet James

2006-05-09T16:48:00.000-05:00

The newest member of our family. No, not my kid, even though I take care of him sometimes (this morning). This was taken at about 2 months, he's now almost 6 months old. Cute 'lil bugger, no?

Evil? Nahhh....

2006-05-06T10:30:00.000-05:00

Years ago, I was asked out by a "friend" who got miffed when I declined. See, she'd forgotten that I had just started dating the woman who would become the love of my life. I was completely un-interested in anyone else. It's an understandable lapse in that the woman I was seeing lived in the next state and we didn't go out much when we saw each other (if you get my drift), so she mostly saw me by myself. (This was in the days of going to something every single night of the week. Drinks on Tuesday? Sure! Nachos on Thursday? Just tell me where!) Regardless, she got pissy about my not taking her up on her "offer", got drunk one night and made the mistake of saying that she thought I was asexual.

Pissed me off.

See... I'm not one of those who "advertises"... if you get my drift. No, I believe (firmly) in being an absolute lady... on the streets. As for the "sheets" well, that's only YOUR business if you're in them with me. And, I don't like people speculating about me like she did.

Some folks just have to be taught a lesson about gossiping and wild speculations, doncha think?

This "friend" of mine adored the perfume I wore at the time and occasionally she would wear something I liked, so it had become something of a teasing ritual to lean in and do a quick sniff. Especially when one of us bought something new. We'd lean in, breathe in and (typically) nod, smile and compliment each other.

Unbeknownst to her, I'd already heard about her faux pas via the grapevine the next time I saw her. When I saw her again, I wasn't sure if I would say something to her about it or not. Not knowing that I knew what I knew (you know?), she acted as if everything were fine. She came up to me in the club, gave me a hug and the usual compliment on my perfume. Coincidentally, she'd bought something new and offered her neck up for a smell.

I stepped forward,
into her space,
leaned in,
took my nose,
placed it at the base of her neck,
druuuugggg it up to her ear
where
I murmured,
in my sexiest,
huskiest,
come hither,
whisper
"Ahhhh, damn... you smell sooooo... mmmm.... good..."

She just stood there, rooted to the spot... long after I had walked away.

Enough with the fool at 1600 Penn!

2006-05-01T00:37:00.000-05:00

Onward to more interesting stuff... SEX.

Ok, ok, calm down, I'm only answering a double dawg dare from Scriptweaver... sheesh!

The dare? Which member of the SAME sex would you be willing to do the horizontal boop with? (For me... reverse teams.)

Since you can't post pics in the comments section, I told him to meet me here.

Two guys I would be OK with...

and (just cause) a woman I've got the hots for:

Bleeding US dry....

2006-04-30T00:35:00.000-05:00

Free advice...

2006-04-28T00:42:00.000-05:00

You know what they say about it, right? It's usually only worth what ya paid for it.

Usually.

Not this time...

I managed to stumble across this by reading Max Adams' blog comments and clicking on the link for a commenter there. I like how this woman (Toni McGee Causey)writes so I read further down the page, even though she's a novelist, and I'm generally zeroed in on the screenwriting stuff. But-- being a writer, I read anything, anywhere, at any time of day or night... so I read all of her blog entrys until THIS one stopped me in my tracks. Stopped me cold. Totally blew me away. In fact, I'm in orbit around Neptune's new planet right now.

The topic? Getting your work sold. Not read. Sold.

Get more than two cents; here.

Shrub, Dick, and old Rummy....

2006-04-26T19:37:00.000-05:00

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are flying on Air Force One.

The President looks at the Vice President, chuckles, and says, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy."

The Vice President shrugs and says, "Well, I could throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten people very happy."

Not to be outdone, the Secretary of Defense says, "Of course, then, I could throw a hundred $10 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot, "Such arrogant asses back there. Hell, I could throw the three of them out the window and make 6 billion people unbelievably happy."

(I laughed my ass off at this.)

Thanks to Kristy for posting this joke at Triggerstreet!

I already said he IS!

2006-04-20T00:21:00.000-05:00

Read the full article here.

Asked and answered, kinda...

2006-04-14T23:05:00.000-05:00

Just got some info in re both of these contests and thought I'd share....

As some of you may know, the beginning of Writer's Arc competition opens on the day that the Nicholl closes. (Postmark deadline for the Nicholl is May 1.) Considering that it takes quite a bit of time for the Nicholl to cull it's submissions and award the prize (this doesn't presuppose that I'll win anything btw), I was wondering if it were possible to win and hold the Writer's Arc fellowship prior to being selected and awarded the Nicholl. I scoured the web looking for the info and failed utterly in finding anything that would answer the question... so, I dropped the good folks at the Academy an email. Today, they answered!

Here are both my and their emails.

Sent on April 4th from me:

Hi,
My name is ******* and I'm writing to ask about holding a fellowship that only last for 16 weeks while you are evaluating scripts submitted to the Nicholl. I'm speaking of the Writer's Arc fellowship, which opens their competition on the same day as your deadline (May 1). All this is precipitated upon the assumption (which may not happen, of course) that I win the Writer's Arc summer fellowship. (I was a finalist in the Winter 2005 fellowship, so it's not outside the realm of possibility!)

Here's the time line: Commencement of their 16 weeks fellowship would begin on July 31st and last until Nov 10. Your fellowship would be evaluating scripts and selecting winners during their fellowship. Assuming that I was a winner of the Writer's Arc fellowship, would this timeline disqualify me from your contest? Additionally, your rules stipulate that there be no winning of a contest where a "quid pro quo" situation exists. I don't believe this is the situation with the Writer's Arc fellowship, but I would appreciate clarification as to whether or not winning the Writer's Arc fellowship would preclude someone from entering the Nicholl contest.

Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.

Their reply today:

Unfortunately, I don't know anything about the Writer's Arc Fellowship. However, I can say that if you receive that fellowship and there isn't any professional element attached to the prize (i.e. an option, a contract, a purchase, etc.) then you would be eligible for the Nicholl Fellowships. You just can't be participating in another fellowship at the same time that you are participating in the Nicholl Fellowship. I hope this answers your question.

Sincerely,
Shawn Guthrie

The way I read this (knowing that there are no "professional" elements attached to the winning of the Writer's Arc), it sounds to me that you could conceivably be eligible to win BOTH of these contests.

For those unfamiliar with the Writer's Arc; here's their site:

Writer's Arc

Ok, hope this helps someone!

What should you be?

2006-04-13T00:44:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of Rabbit and Crow blog, I took this test. (Evidently, the originator of this is Shawna of Shouting into the wind)

Took it once, answering honestly and it spit THIS out.

Hmmm, veddy interesting...

If you want to take it; click on the link below. Don't forget to tell us what it says!

You Should Be a Film Writer

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind.
You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life.
Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling.
And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Thanks Neil!

Tagged, twice!

2006-04-08T12:25:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I got tagged a while ago by Alicia @HarvestHome for a 4 favorite things meme and I promptly forgot to answer. (SORRY!) I know, I know, clearly... I'm deranged! Nevertheless, here they are:

Four Jobs I've Had
- sergeant in the Army
- Defense Industry contractor
- Salesclerk at Eddie Bauer (part-time while in school)
- Real Estate Investor (buy, fix and sell houses)

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over Again
This is gonna sound strange, but I never purposely watch movies more than once for entertainment. I'll do it for research but not for the fun of it. Usually, if I'm watching a movie twice, it because someone has brought the DVD over or it's on TV and I stumbled across it.

Four Places I've Lived
- Frankfurt Germany
- Myrtle Beach, SC
- Taipei, Taiwan (born there)
- Seattle, WA

Four TV Shows I Love
I don't "LOVE" any TV show. I did make "The L Word" appointment TV in the first season but I haven't even seen all the episodes this season. I like:
Medium
Monk
Battlestar Galactica
Earl

Four Places I've Vacationed
- Munich
- Maui
- New York City
- Miami

Four of My Favorite Dishes
- My Grandma's Banana Creme pie
- Steak, medium well, fresh off the grill
- Shrimp with linguine
- Roasted Oysters (can't stand the raw ones!)

Four Blogs I Visit Every Day
- Complications Ensue - smart, funny, and we agree on politics.
- Kung Fu Monkey- Hella smart, and even funnier, especially on a rant.
- Living the Romantic comedy - has lots to say about screenwriting in general, written with wit and verve.
- Artful Writer - Craig knows! Plus, he's on the board of the Union I wanna join!

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now
- On a sailboat, flying through the water, under full sail.
- Laying on a beach in Pensacola, surrounded by thousands of other gay folk.
- Getting a full body massage.
- At the movies.

Four Bloggers I'm Tagging

Not tagging anyone, this is so old!

Also, I was recently tagged by Konrad West for the first ten verbs in the latest script I've been working on, which is "Regular Army". I am polishing it for the Nicholl. So, here they is!

mill
waiting
thumps
whirl
packed
strolls
turn
passes
pauses
surveys

Yep. Somebody's doing something!

Links have been updated!

2006-04-06T22:57:00.000-05:00

So, I updated links...

Julie in H'wood has been "promoted" 'cause she gettin' PAID now.

Max Adams (she's the only screenwriter to EVER win both the Nicholl and the Austin in the same year) has a blog as well as a website (I didn't add the website, only the blog... you can link to several of her websites from her blog. My pup is on "DogshateBush")

Olaf has a blog that makes me laugh out loud. He acts the fool at "Idiot Screenwriter".

Heidi tells us tales of Hollywood in "Tinseltown Chronicles"

Sal lets us in on what goes on during a Disney Fellowship at "Let Me In"

**** Updated again to include a couple writers/readers from the UK.***

Lucy and the Optimist Reader!

Go, read, enjoy!

Pitching at the vet's office

2006-04-04T23:48:00.000-05:00

My widdle pup, (see picture below) has a boo-boo. A very sore and very blistered left front paw. The technical term for it is "lick granuloma". "Boo-boo" works for me. And her. This type of skin disorder is very difficult to treat; frankly, not many vets know what to do with it. The vet she is seeing now is the fifth (yes, FIFTH) one I've taken her to about it. Thankfully, she seems to know what to do. We saw this vet about 3 weeks ago and things were improving. Until yesterday. When I got home from work, she was bleeding from the sore, and not using her leg. Wouldn't even put it down. Basically, when I left I had a dog who walked on 4 paws, when I got back only 3 were working. Not good. So, I whisked her off to the doggie doc today. After an examination, and some scrapings for perusal under the microscope, it was determined that she would be fine, but she needed to go back on the antibiotics that we had stopped giving her. The first round of antibiotics (they did seem to be helping) was only prescribed for 2 weeks. This time, we're going for the long haul... 6 weeks. Wish us luck on the meds working!

Anyways, once the exam was over (and the possible cancer scare was eliminated), I explained to the vet that I was hoping to begin another career as a screenwriter and I was in the midst of planning a romantic comedy in which one of my characters was a vet. I asked if she would mind some questions about being a vet? She said it was fine and I asked a couple "does this idea work in the real world" kinda questions. She assured me they did and then started asking me what the story was about. So, I told her. She said: "Cool, I'd go see that."

Imagine: Going into the vet's with a sick dog and coming out smiling even if you did have to spend a boat load of money on doggie meds and carry 52 pounds of wiggling dog. (She's put on weight while on these steriods.)

Here's a possible Mastercard commercial.

Vet visit: 45 bucks
Meds for the dog: 72 bucks
Validation the your script idea is interesting: priceless.

9 years ago, today... love. Covered in fur.

2006-04-02T23:03:00.000-05:00

Here's hoping for another nine.

Effin' spammers!

2006-03-31T23:12:00.000-05:00

Sorry folks, I had to turn on the "word verification" thing. I had 4 spammer "comments" in the space of about 3 hours. From the same freaking spammer! Damn them.

Eyes, right!

2006-03-28T02:03:00.000-05:00

As promised, in the sidebar, there's links to my two short scripts that have been mentioned in one post of another on here. And, one short script that is being filmed. "Love, Mom" is a cute comedy and "Strangers in the night" is what I did with th 4 elements (character names, location and prop) given to everybody in first phase of the the Writer's Arc competition. Some of you have seen both of these already. "Payoff" is a drama, it's been shot and a rough cut is fully assembled.

I hope you like them.

p.s. For those never in the military, the title? It's the command for the platoon you are leading, in a parade, as you begin to march past the grandstand during "Pass and Review". Just more stupid info that some one might be able to use in a script.

Determined or dumb?

2006-03-25T01:17:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of a thread on the Triggerstreet message board, this is the story of how I got my script written and submitted for last Winter's Writer's Arc fellowship.

I'd written the first 40 or so pages in about 3-4 months (with about 2 more months of "head writing") when suddenly, I had made it into round 2 of the Writer's Arc competition. No more screwing around, I had to finish it in 10 days. This was a hard and fast deadline, with no way to extend it. Talk about pressure. Get this... to add just a smidge more stress... I had already made plans and paid for a trip to LA for the Screenwriting Expo. Plus, I had a meet-n-greet set up with a producer who might have been interested in hiring me for a script based upon an idea of his. (Didn't pan out, he wanted work for free.) So, how many hours a day could I realistically write while at the Expo? Not many. I don't have a laptop, so I borrowed my friend David's laptop (down to 8 days by the time I got it), get FD loaded (had difficulties), I finally get it set up so I can write on the plane; which I do, both ways. Meanwhile at the Expo, lugging the laptop, I go to several classes, see speakers, etc. and I skip the closing ceremonies as I was in the hallway busy hammering out pages. (One guy walked by and said "Looks like you're the only one getting any work done this weekend!") If he only knew...

When I got home, I had to juggle work and client demands (I remodel houses-- mostly for gay men who are positively neurotic about their homes), after I drive 45 minutes each way to get my dog (I'm single remember.. no one to help me with mundane things like oh, say, dinner.} All this, before I can try to finish the script.

Of course, I hit a software problem when I tried to transfer pages to my PC so I could open what I had written in LA and on the plane! Thankfully, I was able to figure it out on FD's site and didn't have to PAY for their assistance (I would have if I had too) before I could begin typing again! GAH! More time (my most precious resource) down the drain!

So, day of the deadline... MUST BE POSTMARKED TODAY! No exceptions. No postmark, I can kiss the contest, and any chances of even placing let alone winning, goodbye. I'm down by at least 20 pages. It's 6AM, I've got the end in mind but not in sight and I'm thanking whatever gods there are that Atlanta has a 24 hour post office. I also throw up a hasty "thanks" because I know how to get there and don't have to resort to Mapquest. Here's how the rest of the day went...

6:15AM, I've slugged down two Diet Cokes, chewed up a bagel and walked the dog. I sit down to write the hell outta this biotch, cause really, what choice do I have?

I don't move from the computer (except for answering Nature's call and letting Sophie out so she can answer that same call) for the next 17 hours. No shower, no lunch, no dinner, no nothing but the words in my head and the on the page. Phone's unplugged and cell phone is OFF. My friends? My clients? Can wait. This? Can't.

11:00 pm. I'm typing (FINALLY) "Fade Out" and the printer is spitting out pages 78 and beyond. No time for proofreading or anything else. I gotta get out the door! Where's my freaking shoes! Aghh, where's the keys!

11:30, I climb into the car with ONE copy of the script, on plain paper and beeline it to the 24 hour Post Office... Through Friday night midtown Atlanta partying (going the speed of "cruising") traffic. If THESE sumabitches don't get out my way, I'ma hafta kill somebody!

11:50, I pull into the Hapeville Post Office having driven down I-75 at over 80 miles per hour and (literally) RUN into the Post Office.

There's a line.

11:53, I step up to the counter, look the Postal Clerk right in his eyes and tell him "I know this is going to sound strange, but you're holding the rest of my life in your hands right now."

PC: "Huh?"

I proceed to explain about the contest, the deadline, I have to make another copy, etc...

He looks ME right in my eye and says:

"I'm sorry, I cain't help you. I get off in 6 minutes."

He glances right at those BIG RED numbers that announce to my sinking heart 11:54:08 PM

I beg. "Please, isn't there ANYTHING you can do?

He says: "I cain't, but those two down on the end might could, they working all night."

So, I bolt down there and repeat my pitch. Miracles do happen kids, one of the two (BLESS that woman!) says "Well, I'm not 'posed to do dis, but if'n you need me too, I can hold back one of them hand cancellers and not change the date 'til you ready."

I could have kissed that woman! But, she might not have liked it. Being straight and all.

Then she says the most amazing thing:

"But, you gonna hafta buy stamps!"

"Stamps? Lady, I'll buy ALL the stamps you got in this building if that's what it takes! Whadda I care, if it's stamps or stickers? Long as it GETS there!"

Besides, I had more pressing problems, I needed two, count'em TWO copies, properly bound with brads and with the correct covers. Did I mention it's PAST midnight? I got ONE copy and not only is there no three hole punch paper, there's no three hole punch or cover stock to be had at the Post Office. So, I belly up to the counter again, and beg the woman to wait on changing that hand canceller until I get back from Kinko's. She waivers. I give her the puppy dog eyes. She agrees. (BLESS HER!)

I scurry off into the night to the nearest (and only) Kinko's that I know of, which is (of course) 6 blocks from my home. Which, it turns out, USED TO BE open 24 hours. Some time ago, I (obviously) don't know when, Kinko's ceased running ALL of their stores on a 24/7 basis and now just runs one or two, in various locations throughout Atlanta.

Which location? Well, your guess would be as good as mine or the Security Guard's. Unless your guess is "How the hell am I supposed to know that shit!?!" Then, you'd just be repeating me. So, now that I'm back in midtown Atlanta, I decide to go home and jump online to find out where I can go get the copies made.

Did I mention it's closing in on 1:00 AM by now?

Finally, (Kinko's site suxs!) I discover that the ONLY 24 hours Kinko's that doesn't require a 45 minute drive is, in fact, not THAT far from midtown Atlanta, because it's in DOWNTOWN Atlanta. Which, at this hour of the night, is desserted except for the homeless, the winos, the possibly criminal gangsta and the occasional conventioneer, lost, drunk and broke after his trip to the local strip joints.

Sometimes, a girl has to do what a girl has to do... I headed down there to join them.

When I get out of my car (carefully parking it in a well lit place), a wino lifts his head off the pavement and softly burps at me. I politely ignore him, and his horrid manners, to go inside the desserted office building where the Kinko's is located on the second floor. After I sign into the building under the sleepy eye of the "security" guard, I proceed to the counter to get a pass key, where the skinny guy behind the counter proceeds to cross examine me about what weight of cover stock I want. Evidently, they don't keep 110 lbs stock on hand. Would 80 lbs cover stock do? DAMN, MAN, just gimme whacha got! After we get that squared away, I tell him that I need 3 hole paper. They were OUT. (Of course!) I made him drill some for me. Yes, they can do that, although they don't like too... think I cared?

THEN as I wait for the guy to ring me up so I can get the hell out of there, a VERY large (not in height) man comes in and begins to flirt. "PLEASE! MISTER! I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS BULLSHIT!" I felt like shouting but didn't. I merely paid up and beat feet.

Time check? 2:25.

I finally got to the post office, and bellied up to the counter (again) in front of that lovely lovely lovely lady and hand her my crumpled package; a cardboard box with my 2 scripts, properly punched, properly covered and properly number 6 acco brass brad bound. She weighs the package, slaps a boatload of stamps on it, gets the hand canceller which (BLESS THAT WOMAN) is still marked with the correct day, and makes damn sure that the date shows, plain as day, right on the label.

Whew.

I thanked her profusely for her help as I pay.

Her response?

"Oh, gurl, 's least I could do for someone as determined as you. Good luck!"

(Bless that woman!)

Btw, that script got me into the finals.

Coming? Going? Who the hell knows.

2006-03-21T00:22:00.000-05:00

Please forgive me for my rather abrupt disappearance, there's been an epidemic of flu here, both the human and computer kind. The computer kind came from a friend who'd unwittingly passed it on via a "joke" email, which I opened (more fool me) and the human kind came unwittingly from the twin 7 year old (boy) cousins that had the day off from school last Thursday and Friday.

I hope all of YOU have been well!

Something about songs, again

2006-03-13T23:22:00.000-05:00

So, yesterday I'm driving around town shopping for my Uncle's birthday present which is today (Happy Birthday Uncle Al!) and I'm doing my normal change the radio station when the commercial comes on thing. Top 40 station? Nope. Other top 40 station? Hate that fucking banana song. Jazz station? Ugh, not Kenny G again. Alternative station? Not interested in thrash metal, pass. Country station? Commercial, next. R&B station? Caught the last few moans from Barry White. Classic rock station? Surprise! My first "our song", ah, the memories... taking me back in time.

It's my senior year in high school and I've a new boyfriend, Mike. Mike, with the grey/blue eyes and the perfectly chiseled face. Mike, who wrestled and played third base. Mike, who lived 27 miles away from me and called every single week night to talk to me for hours on end about who the hell knows what. Mike, who I had sex with in his bed when his parents (what the HELL were they thinking?) left us alone in the house while they went out to dinner. Mike, the guy who taught me how to bowl (I still can't bowl... I think it was because I really WASN'T concentrating on the "finer" points of anything but Mike when he wrapped himself around me to show me how to throw the ball). Mike, who's battery died while we were making out in the empty field up the road from my house and had to spend the night on the couch under penalty of death if he so much as stuck a toe in the direction of my bedroom. Mike, who confessed that he'd been walking a girl to her classes (she went to his school, I did not) and whom he thought he might want to go out instead of me... the first person (sadly not the last) who cheated on me. Mike, who would become a Marine, and the last guy I ever slept with.

Wonder what ever happen to old Mike?

And, really, what is it about songs? They seem to crystalize and encapsulate a part of our lives, freezing them in time, preserving not only our memory of that time but somehow getting us in touch with exactly how we felt. Even if those feelings have faded with the slow erosion of time. Would that I could write something, anything, that has that much power and resonance. Songs are so powerful for me that I can not listen to songs that remind me of my ex. Perhaps, one day, I'll be able to listen to those songs with the idle nostaglia that I experienced when thinking about Mike. One can only hope...

Today, out of nowhere, 2 songs on two different stations... both of them, "our songs". Yeah, well, honey, it no longer looks like "You're still the One" and I've run totally out of "Patience". Sigh. Stupid songs.

CRASH? Seriously?

2006-03-06T01:42:00.000-05:00

Wow. Hated that movie. It was nothing but "A very special episode" of The Love Boat set in drydock (LA), complete with gapping plotholes and trite "coincidental" character interactions.

I thought Jon Stewart was going to be funny. He wasn't. It was a snore of a show.

Worst President. Ever.

2006-03-03T21:11:00.000-05:00

Party considerations aside, THIS fucker? Absolutely the worst.

This ain't about "liberals" vs "conservatives", it's about how the WORST President we've ever had lies to the people, and continues to boldly lie to whomever, whenever because he believes that "Father (him) knows best"

Clearly, this is NOT the case!

The video showing he'd been fully briefed? Made me ill. My stomach twisted into knots. He then shows up days later claiming that "No one" could have forseen the levees failing. WHAT A FUCKING LIAR! They foresaw it, and they told him. He acted as if he were still in that third grade class, calmly reading while the towers were getting hit. THEN, as now, the White House claimed that "no one" could predict a terrorist attack. Oh wait, yeah, seems that did get predicted too... in his daily breifing. But, hey, the man was "on vacation" so why should he be bothered with a stupid report entitled "Bin Laden determined to strike US."? Just like he couldn't be bothered to ask a SINGLE question at these briefing warning of imminent disaster to the Gulf Coast. Of course, he was "on vacation" during the Katrina briefings too... although not a vacation from photo ops and fundraisers. Fucker.

The White Houses response to this? "Well, no one, not even the President can control a hurricane." No shit, Sherlock.

BUT.

The President could have (and should have) controlled the response to it. Once again, he's asleep at the wheel and innocent people died. What I can't believe is the people who buy into the spin. I'm tired of being "spun". I've been spun so much I want to throw up! How many times are we going to be lied to?

WMDS?
Valarie Plame?
Unauthorized wiretaps?
No bid conracts with Haliburton?
Wierd deals with the UAE to "run" our ports?
Didn't know he needed to do more for the people affected by Katrina?

WHEN WILL THIS SHIT STOP!?!

I say his ass should be impeached!

Geeky, nerdy, cool...

2006-03-01T22:45:00.000-05:00

Pretty cool huh? It's what all flights over the US look like in one captured moment.

Check out more cool and geeky pictures here

Yeah, I can be a nerd... so what?

Who was I kidding?

2006-02-26T11:32:00.000-05:00

Ok, so, last night, fueled by a couple of beers and total boredom, I decided that it would be loverly for the 17 people who read this blog to have the ability to "feed" it if they so desired. After all, who would want to miss my infrequent mental meanderings? Right? Riiiiiight.

So, I sign up for and get a "Feedburner" account. So far, so good. That's the only thing that went smoothly... if you don't want to witness the wreck, I suggest you simply surf away now. Still here? Ok, hang on, it was a bumpy, bumpy night. You see, you have to insert the code into your template yourself. Whoo boy, okay, time for me to call a pro. But, who's gonna drop in at 1AM on Saturday night? If they're not the other kind of "pro" that is. Not my friends, most, if not all, of them couldn't hear me above the music playing at the gay bar or party they were at. So, I figure I have to do it myself.

To quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman... "Big mistake. Big."

I read tutorials, I copy, I paste, I save changes before I "preview", I screw it up. Big. Oh, yeah, BIG.

Instead of that lovely vaguely flowered header you see now, I had a wall of virtually impenentrable text, along with a dizzying assortment of HTML symbols that only get a very puzzled "Huh?" from me. I tried for a couple of hours to "fix" it. Finally, I got fed-up, sent a plea for help off into the ether and staggered off to bed.

Sadly, it didn't look any better in the cold, clear light of day. I even got an email reply with a possible "fix", which I thank him for but, alas, the header? Still gibberish. So, after a few minutes consideration, now that the beer had been processed out of my body, I decide to skip the feed and go back to the same template I had before I started monkeying around. Thankfully, I was able to cut and paste all the previous customizations I had (rather wobbily, but still successfully) put into place before my pathetic night of attempting to code.

Thank God I didn't try running with scissors. I might have put an eye out.

Got a Blackberry? Love it? Tell me why...

2006-02-20T17:42:00.000-05:00

I don't own a Blackberry and don't want one. The ONE person I know who loves them is the ex and I ain't talking to her... so I've come to you... my friends. Tell me, please, what is it the thing does and why is it that so many people are enchanted with them?

I'm gonna call it a "Crackberry" in my new Rom/Com script (which all my friends have been doing for a while now, Shawna too, evidently) but I wanna know why someone would be addicted to the thing.... obviously, I don't get it.... maybe cause I don't have one and I ain't buying one! Or maybe it's cause I don't have an addictive personality... yeah that's it! ;)

Ignored! AGAIN!

2006-02-18T19:40:00.000-05:00

Ok, people, this shit makes me mad. I was checking out the trailer for the latest Basic Instinct movie at www.hollywood.com when I noticed something... And it didn't make me happy! If you click on the "movie info" link, it will give you a long list of credits. For everyone. EXCEPT THE SCREENWRITER!

WHAT THE FUCK!

I've emailed them and asked them WHY??!! Obviously, since it's Saturday, I don't expect a response right away. It'll be interesting to see if they change their wicked, wicked ways. Why don't we give them a hand and let them know that we (their "consumers") are NOT happy about the way they are handling their business?

Here's a couple links for you...

JBander@ny.hollywood.com (sales)

editor@boca.hollywood.com (editor)

Women on writing...

2006-02-16T00:53:00.000-05:00

Go. Read. Learn. Both. Now!

Film Diva

A former studio executive who's decided to share her wealth of knowledge about LA and the movie industry. Not a lot of posts at the moment but damn, there's gold in them there posts!

Jane Espenson

Writer and Co-Executive Producer of Buffy.

Loads of info, concrete examples of what things like "act breaks" are. Jauntily written and she even tells you what she had for lunch!

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!?!

As one door closes...

2006-02-05T16:10:00.000-05:00

As you know, I've been consumed lately by packing up my condo and preparing for the BIG move to LA. It's been an interesting couple of weeks, something akin to what I envision an archeological dig might be. I've found stuff I forgot I had. I even found my next door neighbor (and old friend) Lori's birthday present that I MEANT to give her last year. She assures me that I gave her a gift but I'll be damned if I know what it is... the gift I meant to give her was staring up at me from the bottom of the coat closet. Don't ask me HOW it got in there, I think the dog did it.

Did I mention, I HATE to move? Must have been caused by all the moves I went through as a military man's child. Another consequence of my childhood is that I don't get attached to houses. After all, they were just made to be moved out of. Nothing to get attached too, simply a pile of wood, bricks and gypsum cleverly arranged to give humans shelter.

As I was wandering around my nearly empty condo, picking up the last pieces of my life there, I was taken by surprise to find myself suddenly wrapped in a gauze like haze of memories. It seemed as if the fairy dust dancing in the late afternoon sun carried the faint echo of my friend's laughter. Wandering from room to room, it grew... the clink of glasses raised in toast came from the dining room... outside, the laughter from grilling out with friends and in the living room, it seemed to burst with the energy of that Holiday party, the one with about 100 people all laughing and enjoying themselves. Until at last I found myself in the bedroom, where I swear, my heart could hear the faint sigh and whispered "I love you." of the woman I had hoped to spend my life with.

As I stood there for a moment before I turned the key, driving the dead bolt home for the last time, I prayed that while this door is closed, many more will open for me in the land of sunshine and movies.

Wow. I'm being filmed...

2006-01-28T11:05:00.000-05:00

Backstory: Early last year, I was contacted by a director from Triggerstreet and asked to write a short for him. I did. I sent it to him, he liked it, had a few notes, we went back and forth a little, I made a few changes and then gave him a one year license to produce ONE film. (It expires on April 1 of this year.) Things progressed, emails were flowing back and forth, he was really happy with the script, I was welcome on set, he was busy working away, he was getting the DP he wanted, he was auditioning actors.... then, the bottom fell out, silence on his end. When I wrote him a friendly "how's it going" email, he replied with he was having difficulty find actors, etc...

Frankly, I figured that the ball had been dropped. Totally. So, I forgot about it.

Imagine my surprise when I got an email today, with links to stills and rough footage.

Check it out here: stills

and here: footage

Life throws me a change-up...

2006-01-26T23:07:00.000-05:00

So, I went on a date tonight. Rare occurrence these days since I'm very picky about who I'll date. As I get older, I have a clearer idea of what I find attractive and what I won't tolerate. When I was in my twenties... if you had a pretty face and could flirt your way into a date, you were on. Not so much these days, especially not with the ex coming back now and again. Anyways, I had a dinner date tonight with a woman that I've been casually acquainted with for a couple of years. We were both with other women when we meet so, while I thought she was beautiful and interesting, nothing ever came of it. My ex and I broke up a little over 2 years ago. She and her ex broke up earlier last year but have continued to do the lesbian lambada... breaking up and getting back together again... repeat. Damn, that dance seems to go on and on even when the music has clearly stopped.

I was a bit surprised when she asked for my number a couple months ago, and then not too surprised when she didn't call. I ran into her at the bar this past weekend and she said she would call. I didn't hold my breath. BUT. Lo and behold, call she did, the very next day. So, we chatted, decided on dinner plans and picked tonight as the big night. So far... so good. We're both single and seemingly willing to "mingle". Yipee!

So, today, I call and ask her for directions to where she lives... she begins to explain where her condo is and I get a little distracted by the dog barking at only God-knows-what so I just jot down directions and tell her I'll pick her up at 8:00. As I head in that direction earlier tonight, looking for the name of her condo complex, I realize that it's a former apartment complex. MY former apartment complex. Rehabbed to the gills and sold for far more than they are really worth, a couple of years ago. As I drive further into the complex, I realize that she lives across the breezeway from MY old apartment. She lives in #6, I used to live in #5... of the same building! All this would not normally be anything but "Huh, cool coincidence." except for the fact that #5 is the place I most associate with the ex.

Dinner was good, I'm not entirely sure the same could be said about my company. Ah well, I least I went down swingin'.

Blogging lite...

2006-01-22T17:52:00.000-05:00

Posts will be lite to non-exisitent for the next couple of weeks as I am packing up house and preparing for the BIG move to LA. I won't be in LA until late March/early April but the condo's been sold and I gotta scram. I'll be staying with my Aunt and Uncle for the next couple of months while I tie up loose ends (remodeling jobs I've already commited too mostly) and begin the usual round of good bye dinners in which the subtext is always LA?!? Hot damn, now we have a place to stay!"

The envelope, please...

2006-01-18T23:48:00.000-05:00

And the winner of the first annual "Guess who's Gay" contest is... *drum roll* Chris Soth. He got it right, albeit just as a last minute wildly thrown Hail Mary rolled into a joke thing. Yes, boys and girls, ALL GAY. The two on the right were a couple at the time, the brunette to my left? My date. We've all moved on to other women (or more accurately, in my case, back too and then broke up with [again] the same person, but I digress).

So, why'd I take us through this little game? It's all about perception, baby. See, I wanted to see how many of you, when presented with pretty women, who didn't fit the stereotype of "dykes" and "lesbos" would consider that perhaps the "trick" wasn't that they were "all straight" but "all gay". Not one of you got it. Ask yourself why. No need to tell me. Or put it in the comments (unless you wanna).

Now, I'm not saying that ANY of you are homophobic, I don't believe my readers are. BUT. Just as there's an unconscious level of racism in most people, there's an unconscious level of buying into gay stereotypes in there too. My aim is not to point fingers or call any one names, rather, it is to help you as writers (some of whom will include gay characters in your work) to stretch beyond those stereotypes when you are writing those characters. To that end, some other facts about the women in the picture....

(All true when the picture was taken, some details may have changed since.)

2 worked as executives for Fortune 100 companies
1 owned her own business
1 was a graphic designer
1 is a twin
1 was adopted
1 was studying for her MBA
2 were home owners
3 had pets
1 had 2 sisters and no brothers
1 had a gay brother
1 spins records for fun and sometimes money
2 had gone paintballing the weekend before
1 ran 3 miles a day
1 didn't exercise at all
2 went the gym on a fairly regular basis
All were going to a $$$ per ticket charitable event
By the end of the night, all our feet were killing us!

Comments?

Think we're ready for the Golden Globes?

2006-01-15T01:38:00.000-05:00

I have friends, some gay, some straight. These are some of my friends and I, can YOU guess which is gay/straight or bi? I'm not giving you any hints. I will tell you that I'm in the middle, dark hair, up in a French Twist.

Show me yours, I'll show you mine...

2006-01-13T11:22:00.000-05:00

Scott, (Mr. Gator in the copter) has added onto FunJoel's meme questions with one of his own:

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LINE OF DIALOGUE YOU HAVE EVER WRITTEN?

I don't think I have a favorite line EVER but if I did, this would be pretty close...

KELLI
C'mon! Go with me, I don't bite.

LISA
I bet you say that to all the girls.

KELLI
Nah, sometimes... I say I do.

Meme, me, me, me, me,...

2006-01-11T23:26:00.000-05:00

Seems I've been tagged, by FunJoel's' count... 5 times, for the scribosphere "meme". (Anyone else think it sounds a bit like a singer warming their voice?) So, ever cordial, I am answering the call of the scribosphere...

ONE (1) earliest film-related memory:
I saw Little Big Man in the theater with my brother one afternoon. I don't know WHY my parents thought it was appropriate for little kids. One explanation might bet that they didn't really know what it was about and thought it would be an educational experience about Indians. It was an education as well as an experience, but not about Indians! There's so much sex and sexual innuendo in that flick!

TWO (2) favorite lines from movies:
"I hate women who apologize for wanting sex" Corky in "Bound"

"I'm not apologizing for wanting sex. I'm apologizing for what I didn't do. Violet's response...

THREE (3) jobs you'd do if you could not work in the "biz":
Novelist
Real Estate investor
World Traveler

FOUR (4) jobs you actually have held outside the industry:
I own a remodeling company.
I spent 4 years in the Army.
I sold copy services for a couple companies, including Xerox.
I've bought, remodeled, and sold houses.

THREE (3) book authors I like:
Patricia Highsmith
Margaret Atwood
Patricia Cornwell

TWO (2) movies you'd like to remake or properties you'd like to adapt:

Any of the Scarpetta series from Patricia Cornwell (adaptation)

Fast times at Ridgemont High (it would be interesting to see if it was different updated, or if some themes remain the same.)

ONE (1) screenwriter you think is underrated:
Compared to directors and actors, we're ALL underrated.

THREE (3) people I'm tagging to answer this meme
Chris (Big Woo), Konrad West and Writebrother

Whacha think, huh? Huh?

2006-01-10T01:24:00.000-05:00

So, I've decided that a Rom/Com is gonna be the next thing I tackle....

Hide!

But, before I tackle the entire thing, I'd like to ask y'all a favor... would you read a short I wrote, as an exercise, for a project on Triggerstreet? It's supposed to be funny, and I know it's difficult to BE funny so I'd appreciate it if y'all read it and then give me your thoughts about it. Let me know if it make you smile, guffaw or grin. If it doesn't do any of those things, let me know that too. It's only 9 pages...

You can find it here: Love, Mom

A brush with fame...

2006-01-06T22:32:00.000-05:00

Last night, here in Atlanta, there was a "premiere" of The L word, for its third season. It was held at a club not far from my condo so I hiked over there; (I do not drink and drive!) just in time to stand in line for about 15 minutes as the winter wind blew and made ice cubes outta my earlobes.

Why'd I have to wait?

The club was packed to capacity. They'd have been violating fire codes to let more people in. The max for that club? 750. The event was scheduled for 7:00 pm, the doors opened at 6:00 and by 7:15, they were full up. Completely full up. They weren't letting anyone in unless someone left.

I ONLY had to wait for 15 minutes because friends of mine were the next in line to get into the place and I "cut". Yeah, I cut. No, I don't feel bad about it. Sue me. WE only got in because a group of girls had to leave when their designated dupe (err.. driver) couldn't get into the place. Tough luck girls, them's the breaks!

So, Pam Grier was scheduled to appear, and appear she did.

I didn't meet her.

I meet someone MORE important. The creator and showrunner, Ilene Chaiken.

I was standing there watching the show and glanced over my right shoulder to find Ms. Chaiken standing there, all by her little lonesome. No bodyguard, no bouncer, no Pam Grier, just her and her drink. (She's a small thing, couldn't be more than 5'1 in her stocking feet and if she's 110, soaking wet, then I'm not a lesbian.) So, I took one step, leaned in and said...

"Thanks for creating the show. I've enjoyed it. I've read your script for Barbarella and I like your writing style."

She murmured a polite thank you.

ME: "How do you like Atlanta?"
HER: "Great city. Great turnout."
ME: "You have no idea. Not only is it packed in here, there's a line from the front door, around the corner of the building and almost all the way to the end of the street."
HER: (Big grin) "Really?"
ME: (Grinning back) "Yep."

I introduced myself, we shook hands and then, we stood there in companionable silence watching the show as the crowd swirled around us. Most of the women... completely oblivious to the fact that none of them would be there without the efforts of the tiny woman to my right.

The only other thing I said to her, after watching Alice do something pathetic...

Me: "Poor Alice."
HER: "Yeah, poor Alice."

She stood there a little while longer, holding her cocktail and watching the show, until she turned and disappeared into the darkness of the club.

It wasn't until this morning that I realized that I had completely bungled my "I like your writing style" compliment to her... she didn't write "Barbarella", she wrote "Barbed Wire"! She's too young to have written Barbarella! I hope that in the din of the club, she heard "Barbed Wire". If not, my chances of ever writing for her just went down the crapper.

I have a friend who insists that I should have told her that I was a screenwriter and asked her some questions about how to break in, etc... I'm not sure that would have been the right thing to do. See, it was her night and I think it would have been rude of me to demand that she cater to my questions.

What do you guys think?

Retroactive wishes....

2006-01-02T12:55:00.000-05:00

I wish all of you: Health, wealth and most importantly, happiness, in the coming New Year.

What is it about songs?

2005-12-28T03:26:00.000-05:00

Patrick who often creates a ruckus got me to thinking about a Depeche Mode song that I adore. Whenever I hear it, I flash back to a sweaty summer night of dancing, many years ago, in Pensacola FL.

Now, before I go any further with this tale, I should mention that I have, for many years, been going to Pensacola FL for my annual Memorial Day weekend vacation along with most of the gay population of Atlanta, rural Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, and Mississippi. Sometimes a Texan or two will show up. We totally take over the place. It's amazing how far several million dollars (estimates vary from 5 to 8) pumped into the local economy, over the course of a single holiday weekend, will open the mind of the most fevrent Bible thumpers... but, I digress.

So, one night, I'm in a nightclub, the place is wall to wall women. It's so hot in there the walls are literally sweating. Women everywhere. (Not a man in sight.) Packed onto the dance floor, 6 deep at the bar and more, more, more coming into the bar as the night staggers drunkenly towards dawn. It's a visual smorgasbord. Any shape, size and type of woman you can think of, ranging from the hottest thing in 5 states to the most dykish stereotype walking. Me? I was newly single and busy licking my wounds, so I wasn't on the hunt... just looking... and boy did I find a sight for sore eyes. By the end of my first beer, I only had eyes for them. 2 gorgeous (oh-my-gawd-they-were-so-hot) women dancing together out on the dance floor. Obviously lovers, they paid no attention to anyone else in the place. Wrapped up in each other, they took no notice of all the women watching them. They moved intimately, fluidly graceful, dripping sensuousness, with such timing that your mind could easily imagine them... with much less clothing... doing other... rhythmic... things.

Seems the patrons of the bar weren't the only ones to notice them. In the middle of the night, with the bar packed beyond fire codes, the music suddenly stopped and the lights came crashing down. Then, in the dark wet heat of the night, we heard the faintest whisper of the opening cords to Depeche Mode's "World in My Eyes." The DJ, in her most dulcet tones, purred into her mic... "This, ladies, is for that delicious couple we've all been watching, who have found the world in each other's eyes."

With that, she brought the music to full blast and turned the gyrating lights back on to the cheers of most everyone there and the adorable blushes of the couple in question... who then promptly got lost in the song and their own world.

Let me take you on a trip
Around the world and back
And you won't have to move
You just sit still

Now let your mind do the walking
And let my body do the talking
Let me show you the world in my eyes

I'll take you to the highest mountain
To the depths of the deepest sea
We won't need a map, believe me

Now let my body do the moving
And let my hands do the soothing
Let me show you the world in my eyes

That's all there is
Nothing more than you can feel now
That's all there is

Let me put you on a ship
On a long, long trip
Your lips close to my lips
All the islands in the ocean
All the heaven's in the motion
Let me show you the world in my eyes

That's all there is
Nothing more than you can touch now
That's all there is

Let me show you the world in my eyes

Here's hoping they're still exploring the world together.

I am a blogging idiot.

2005-12-26T12:04:00.001-05:00

I was trying to figure out how to do the links, THEN (somehow... I dunno how) I managed to turn on the "moderate comments" thing and not even know I had done it!

*hangs head in shame* Sorry...

Soooo, for those of you who have commented lately, it's not that I've been keeping your comments to myself and refusing to publish them... it's that I wasn't even aware that you had made a comment. I don't have blogger notify me when there are comments, so I just thought y'all stop talking to me... Then I thought, perhaps, there was something wrong with Blogger. I know, I know, not at all smart of me...

A BIG "thank you!" to Fun Joel for pointing out the error of my ways.

Moderating has been turned off. Feel free to laugh at me below.

My answer to the "war" on Christmas!

2005-12-25T03:31:00.000-05:00

Bob sent this to me a coupla years ago... made me laugh.

Then and now.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah and have a great Kwanzaa, y'all!

Finally!

2005-12-24T01:37:00.000-05:00

I FINALLY figured out how to link!

It's a good thing I don't want to be a programmer is all I gotta say!

Wanna be added? Holla at ya gurl, I'll hook ya up!

Who knew?

2005-12-21T11:43:00.000-05:00

Evidently, I am considered a potential terrorist by the Pentagon. It's cause I'm queer.

According to the Pentagon, being gay (or straight and open minded) is the equivalent of plotting to blow up something.

Gay groups organizing to protest the heinous "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy have been deemed to be a "credible threat" by the Pentagon and one group of students at NYU who plan on holding a "Kiss-in" has been labelled "possibly violent".

Yes, I said "KISS".

Maybe I'm rendered idiotic by my lesbianism, but it occurs to me that anything involving kissing is not inheriently violent. Forget the fact that most gay men would rather redocorate your home than blow it up. A gun show is not a "possibly violent" event to the Pentagon, but a "Kiss-in" by the queers and their straight supporters? Oh my Gawd, we need a S.W.A.T. team! PRONTO!

Writers are known for having vivid imaginations, after all, it's what we do. Sadly, I'm not making this shit up. A more indepth exploration by a gay soldiers advocacy group can be found here. If you go to this link, read further down the page and you can tell JUST EXACTLY how crazy the Pentagon is. They've admitted that they had considered a program in 1994, during which our military chemists would develop, as a Chemical Warfare agent, a chemical something or another to "turn" opponents queer. Yes, folks, your government was considering how to make men gay. As biological warfare. You can read more about that nonsense here.

A very brief explaination for those who know nothing of the famous Kinsey scale...and are, thus, baffled by my little chart at top...

In the Kinsey Reports, which made Dr. Alfred Kinsey famous enough to have this movie made about him, he theorizes that human sexuality is not set in stone and proposes a scale spanning from 0-6 in terms of hetro to homo sexual. The number 0 being the indicator for someone exclusively hetrosexual and the 6 for someone being exclusively homosexual.

Shot down in flames...

2005-12-20T00:00:00.000-05:00

I just now (after 11pm!) got the call from the ladies who are running the competition. Unfortunately, I was not one of the ones selected for the Fellowship. The ladies were very nice and made a point of telling me that it was NOT my writing or my story ideas that eliminated me, it was that they didn't have the funds to select more Fellows. They had to have a certain number of men and women, and a certain number of genres, unfortunately, my strongest ideas was for a Romantic Comedy and they felt that they had all of those they needed.

They complimented me on the script that I had sent in to them, telling me that they grade on a scale of One to Four, with One being the highest score available. Ami Vitori said she gave me a One for the full length script that I submitted for Round Two. They told me that they felt "invested" in me and encouraged me to call (occasionally) if I needed their input or advice on things related to the film industry. They also invited me to drop into their offices the next time I'm in LA. (I plan to take them up on that.)

So, all in all, even though I am disappointed, I feel proud of my work and proud of how well I did with my very first script.

Thank you all for you support and well wishes as I went through this. Hopefully, the next competition I enter, I'll come out a little bit more on top.

Best of luck to my fellow bloggers!

It's easy...

2005-12-19T13:00:00.000-05:00

Seems that's the take my electrician has on screenwriting.

I'm in the midst of a bathroom remodel at the moment, which requires an electrician as there's some significant electrical changes being made. So, I called the guy who I've used for the past couple of jobs. (Hadn't seen him in about 6 months.) He had no clue that I had taken up screenwriting nor had he heard anything about my progress with the Writer's Arc competition. As we were catching up on our personal lives, I was telling him about it, this blog and that I had posted pages for all the world to see, if anyone were so inclined. He asked if I would show them to him, so I did. He's since told me that he believes he's capable of writing a screenplay. I wish him the best of luck. Lord knows, he's gonna need it. Not because he's not intelligent (he is) but because he's somehow decided that it's easy.

Getting it out there...

2005-12-15T17:40:00.000-05:00

Ya gotta love holiday parties. Especially when they allow you to "bump" into a VP for MTV (owner of LOGO... the newest queer cable channel, who is actively looking for content). To whom you can oh-so-casually mention that you're a semi finalist in the Writer's Arc competition, which, in turn prompts her to ask what it's about (Lesbians in todays Don't Ask, Don't tell Army) and then ask for your script! Not only that, I was given her email at MTV, and her home address. (She lives here, in Atlanta.)

(I know her well enough to say "Hi" to at various parties, events, etc... over the years, and we once went white water rafting with a whole buncha girls, but we are not "friends".)

I dropped my script off on her front door step yesterday.

Now there's something else for me to worry about besides the Writer's Arc fellowship....

You guys, how can you help? Well, you'll just have to assume the position...
Ready? one... two... CROSS EVERYTHING!

Thanks!

Ok, I'll play your silly game...

2005-12-12T13:43:00.000-05:00

So, Red Right Hand and FunJoel have thrown down the guantlet, showing us a page of their writing, and challenging other bloggers to do the same.

Below... my answer to that challenge.(Thanks to Chris, of The Big Woo, for his advice on how to do this!)

It's my submission for the Writer's Arc short screenplay section. As Shawna and Chris both stated, they gave us 4 elements of a screenplay (2 character names Chris Marquez and Sandy Fletcher), one location (station) and one prop (board). Everything is designed to facilitate one's own flight of fancy in regards to these four elements and now, without further ado (or without further doo-doo... you pick) my entry: Strangers in the night

Well, this bites...

2005-12-11T11:42:00.000-05:00

And, not in a good way!

Some friends of mine and I were talking about going to see "Brokeback Mountain" today. I told them (what with my new found movie industry knowledge) that it would be important to see it the first weekend it was out, cause the execs look at those numbers as some sort of Holy Grail indicators, for whether or not they should continue to do these "kinds" of movies. (For those living under a rock, this is the FIRST gay movie to receive any kind of major support from the studio system, not to mention a major ad campaign and to have some rather impressive "names" attached to it.)

IT'S NOT PLAYING IN ATLANTA! Not 'til NEXT weekend. WTF?

LA? Check.
NYC? Check.
SF? Check (After all, it's THE queer city.)

But. Haven't those idiots figured out that Atlanta IS the gay Mecca of the South? Every queer kid from a podunk town in Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, North and South Carolina, not to mention Georgia typically heads straight (no pun intended) for Atlanta just as soon as they can. There's a HUGE gay population here, in fact we are the 3rd (SF, NYC AND ATL in that order, using the numbers from Gay Pride) largest in terms of gay population among American cities. Why were we not included in this all important first weekend?

THEN, get this...when it does open here next weekend... it will open in ONE theater.

ONE. In a 60 mile radius.

WTF?

I could understand if they were limiting this to the "gay" market via their advertising or something but they're NOT. So, why limit your distribution to the only theater in Atlanta that's located in the "gay ghetto? (Frankly, it's not so much the gay ghetto any more. I live in the neighborhood, in a building of less than 30 condos, out of the residents, 8, maybe 9 are gay... the rest? Straight. Open minded, but straight.) Do they think they are helping the movie by making people drive 20, 30, maybe 60 miles to see it in a theater?

Wanna know what I think? I think they're afraid it won't be seen by straight people, (especially straight guys) and they using the theatrical release as a promo for dvd sales?

Sad, really, that they don't think the movie has enough appeal on it's own to transcend the supposed "ick" factor of guys kissing.

I plan on rounding up a whole lotta folks for the movie, just to show them they were wrong for not giving it a wider distro.

Writer's Arc pitch session...

2005-12-10T02:45:00.000-05:00

They called.

We chatted.

Now...

I wait.

Me, George and Weezie...

2005-12-07T22:33:00.000-05:00

The email was entitled: "Moving On Up."

Seems I did...

...to Round Three of the Writer's Arc competition.

I hope Shawna and Chris did too!

UPDATE:
My pitch is locked in for 2pm (PST) this Friday the 9th.

This killin' time, it's killing me...

2005-12-06T00:11:00.000-05:00

So, I got an email today from the Writer's Arc folks....

... the selection for the 25 people who survived Round Dos...

... postponed. 'Til Wednesday, no later than 9 PM, EST.

They claim they've had an over abundance of scripts to read. I ain't buying.

I think...

...they had a HUGE party last Friday night...

...and were too hung over to read anything over the weekend.

*They did have a fundraiser party thing (according to their site) on Friday night. Cocktails, celebratin', trying to recover from the party....who's got time for readin'? Jus' sayin...

Keep your fingers crossed for two more days folks!

Ask and ye shall receive...

2005-12-01T16:45:00.000-05:00

Spoke to my former client, who's morphed into my new attorney. Funny, seems he's writing a screenplay as well, and is going to screenwriters class tonight... who'da thunk?

Anyhoo.. he's agreed to rep me for a very reasonable fee, and will be submitting my treatment (after I register it with the WGA) to the director for me, along with a little note, on his company letterhead, reminding the director that he has no authorization to USE my material without entering into an agreement with me. Which I'm sure will delight the director no end, but I don't care. THIS is business, and I don't mean to be getting "da business", if ya know whud I mean...

"I'll make sure you're taken care of..."

2005-11-30T18:15:00.000-05:00

Why does this remind me of that famous phrase... "I'll pull out, I promise."?

Perhaps it because both are uttered as promises prior to getting screwed? Hmmm. Well, I'm not about to do that. The title of this post is what the director keeps mumbling when it's time to talk abut paying me. At this point, I have pitched the story to him, leaving him with nothing but a vague memory of the story. (I took the advice of Craig Mazin, et al, and did NOT leave him with anything written.) Now, however, he is asking for a written treatment... which he will then use to "sell" the story to the investors that he has lined up. Good deal for him. Not so good for me, as he's asking for "free" work.

He knows that I have never dealt with this kind of thing before, I've been honest with him about it. What he doesn't know is that one of my former remodeling clients is an entertainment attorney, based here in Atlanta. He also doesn't know that I am calling my former client tomorrow and asking him to either recommend an attorney to me in regards to this or represent me. I want an option for the treatment, along with a guarantee that I will write the screenplay if the treatment sells, specific dollar numbers for the treatment, (part of it can be paid upon securing financing, I'm not unreasonable) and a specific percentage of the budget for the script and the dollar amounts for ONE re-write. I have printed out the guideline for "indie" films from the WGA's site and will ask my attorney (whomever they may be) to see that my agreement with this producer/director is in line with those guidelines.

I may be inexperienced when it comes to this kind of stuff, but I'm NOT stupid. Nor am I willing to work for free. If any of you know of an attorney who can handle this for me, feel free to drop me a line. I'm not married to my former client as my attorney, I don't even know if he reps writers... but I'm damn sure gonna ask! Thanks!

The wheels go round and round...

2005-11-28T17:58:00.000-05:00

Yep, the car is FIXED! The best part? Cost less than 150 bucks!

Thank God!

Praise Allah!

Thanks be to Yeowah!

My props to Buddha!

I had a worse day than the turkey!

2005-11-27T00:44:00.000-05:00

It's true... ok, it may JUST feel like it's true, but still...

1. On Wednesday, my car decided it no longer needed to start.

2. It's still not working. Monday is the earliest it'll be ready.

3. I'm in the MIDDLE of a job! I need wheels to finish that damn J.O.B!

The BEST part of Turkey day??? Talking to the crazy Asian woman who adopted me... (btw... I'm on EST and she's on PST, I wouldn't want you people to think I'd call her at midnight, if I had my druthers I wouldn't call at all, but that's another story.)

INT- WRITERGURL'S CONDO - THANKSGIVING NIGHT

It's late, almost midnight, and she can't put it off any longer...

WG steels herself for the obligatory phone call...

She sighs and pushes buttons.

INT - MOTHER AND DAD'S HOUSE - NIGHT

The ringing of the phone pierces the dark, cold house where puffs of breath create mists of gray as MOTHER heads towards the couch and phone.

She drops to the couch and hears her adoptive daughter's voice on the answering machine she uses to screen calls.

INTERCUT:

WG: Mother, pick up the phone, it's your daughter... hello... Mother!

MOTHER: Why you not call me, when your Aunt sick?

WG: Because, Mother, Cuz had already called you.

MOTHER: You should have called, anyways.

WG: Cuz had already called you by the time I got the message.

MOTHER: She did not! She call 3 days after!

WG: Mother, that is not true, she called you the day it happened.

MOTHER: No! 3 day! You no call. Your Father think Cuz his daughter!

WG: Well, since you never let me speak to him--

MOTHER: You no call! She call!

WG: The phone works two ways Mother. Besides, Cuz's a drunk.

MOTHER: No, she stop.

WG: In what universe? She's still drinking, Mother.

MOTHER: She tell me she stop! I tell her I give her ten thousand dollars, she stop.

WG: I hope you didn't send the check.

MOTHER: Your Father no like you. He think she his daughter!

WG: Funny, that's not what he told me the last time I saw him. He said he loves me.

MOTHER: You bad daughter. I always wanted a daughter.

WG: Yeah, well, I always wanted a Mother. Too bad neither of us got what we wanted.

Double D's

2005-11-22T00:08:00.000-05:00

Gotcha... I'm not gonna talk about THOSE.

Nope. I'm talking about the only 2 movies I've seen in the past couple of months. Domino and Dreamer. Hated Domino, loved Dreamer. Unlike most everyone who's also hated "Domino", I'm not even going to go there with the stupid green tint on EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN" FRAME! (GAHHH) Or the gratuituous sex scene in the desert. WTF? That scene added nothing to an already horrid movie. (Mind you, I'm never opposed to seeing Kierly Knightley rocking someone's sox but seriously, did they feel they had made Domino so butch that they NEEDED a sex scene [with a man] to "prove" she wasn't a dyke?) But. I digress.. KK can do that to some of us, ya know. (Seriously, whew!)

Back on topic...

Nope, I'm talking theme. That's right, theme. Wait... how can this be? After all, one of them is a rock'em sock'em action movie and the other? Well, geez, it's a kid movie! Not so my friends.... let me 'splain.

The stories perhaps unknowingly deal with the same theme. (Spine, if you will.) The only obvious similarity between the two? They're both based upon "true" stories. However, there's another similarity, one that most people don't even see; the theme, the spine, the throughline, whatever you want to call it. In my view, they're both movies about female empowerment. Richard Kelly uses the crutch of violence and sex in a crude attempt to show how "empowered" Domino Harvey was; solely because she was a female bounty hunter. Many people bought into this tired (and trite) line of reasoning, after all, if she's shooting it up with the fellas, she's got balls just like them don't she? What they fail to note is, by movies end, she's just another pawn in a game she doesn't control. How, pray tell, does this equal empowerment? It doesn't.

Dreamer, on the other hand while telling a much more conventional tale also told a tale about a female (a young one but still a female) who was willing to stand up for herself and work towards making her dreams a reality... no matter if she had to use her wiles (in the scene when they ask her if she has the entry fee and she claims "It's in the mail") or if she has to get help from a Prince. At the end, she got her dreams (her horse to win and her family rifts to being healing) to become reality. Very empowering, I'd say.

Wouldn't you?

Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!

2005-11-20T07:10:00.000-05:00

For the 2 of you who've come back time and again to find absolutely nothing new posted, I apologize. I can only tell you that's it's not an attempt to drive you away but to keep from driving myself crazier with all the typing, typing, typing. Of course, I'm not sure I've accomplished that particular objective but a girl has to try... right? (I once told my Dad I was "trying", he gave me a woeful smile, a gentle shake of the head and said "Yes, I know.".. What do you supposed he was getting at?)

Ok, I know I promised to give y'all the 411 (are white, ok.... half white, girls allowed to say that?) upon my return from La-La land, so without further ado, let me bore you some more.

The expo
I enjoyed it, saw a couple of the guest speakers, was enthralled by William Goldman and tanked on the CS Open. I did OK until they announced that half the time had been used up, (it's 90 minutes for a few pages based upon their own scenarios) at which point my fevered little brain just stopped. I swear it sounded like those "jake brakes" tractor trailers use for slowing themselves on steep hills. Not good when it's coming from your brain. So, I handed it in, went back later and waited forever to get the comments back and discovered that out of a possible 100 points, I got 80. Damn. If only my brain hadn't seized up, it might have been my frozen wall-eyed grimace that staring out at you from the press releases! Oh well. My congrats to the winner... whoever you are.

Stop! I don't mean it like that! I meant that I don't know who you are because I was sitting, laptop on it's aptly named perch, on the floor outside the grand hall furiously polishing my Writer's Arc entry while they were doing the "Closing Ceremonies" so I have no idea who won. Alls I know... wasn't me.

The meetup
Great little bar.. nice to meet all of you and great to finally put real faces to those who's words I enjoy. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to stick around because my dinner with the director was pushed from Monday night to Sunday night. He had a film (which he had produced) in the Santa Clarita Film Festival (it's called Harmony run) and they had asked him to make himself available for the awards banquet which was on Monday night. So, gracious writer that I am, I agreed to move our pitch meeting/dinner to Sunday night. Thereby cutting off the potential for drunken musings on writing with my fellow bloggers. Sigh. I hated to leave, I didn't have nearly as much interaction with people as I would have liked and I definitely didn't have enough beer! (Thanks Chris!) I did have an opportunity to talk a couple of the other Writer's Arc Round One survivors and was fascinated by the different directions everyone went in, given the limited story prompts provided by the Fellowship people. We're a creative bunch!

The pitch meeting
I suppose I should now feel like a "real" screenwriter since I had free fish (thank you Josh Friedman) with a director/prducer that I pitched a story too. He liked it, and we're supposed to talk more about it in the next day or two. Sorry to be so vague but I can't really get into the specifics, I'm not sure exactly where we go from here but I'll let you know what I can, when I can... which may end up being nothing for a long period of time... just a warning...

Writer's Arc
I FINALLY got it in the mail on the 18th. Just under the wire. I'm talking serious squeaking it close. Praise the lawd for the 24 hour post office is all I gotta say! I have 4 solid story ideas to pitch, (should I advance...keep your fingers crossed!) but I need to come up with another one. Hopefully, I will. I have one high concept one that I think they will like and a rom/com that might work. I also am going to use the Islam story and I have a story that would be a perfect fit for a Lifetime channel MOW (not that I think they are looking for that but I gotta pitch something!)

Ok, I think that's should bring folks up to date...

in other news
My ex showed up the other night asking to "talk" and then when I agreed, lost her nerve and never got around to what she was trying to say so we just basically chatted for a while about next to nothing. When I told my friend Lisa what she had done, Lisa said "What does she want?" to which I replied "Me." Duh. In case you're wondering, 'twas not I who screwed the pooch on this one, OK? The ex has some serious 'splaining to do and I ain't helping her do it. No prompting, no prying and no feeding of line/subject/material/whatever. SHE needs to do all the heavy lifting. If that sounds pretty heartless, it's just because you don't know the whole truth of the matter. Suffice it to say I did everything I could to make the relationship work. She took it all for granted, was horrid to me and now it's come back to bite her on the ass. I'm not prying those teeth apart, she has to do it herself. Do I love the woman? God help me, I do. Enough to put up with more bullshit? No. And God would need to help HER if I had to.

Ok, peeps, thanks for reading this looonnnggg post and patiently checking in on me. Best of luck to my fellow scribes on their Writer's Arc entries, I hope we all meet again in their offices come January 17th!

Westward, ho!

2005-11-11T02:04:00.000-05:00

No, not THAT kinda "Ho"! Get your mind out of the gutter!

I'm heading to LA for the Screenwriting Expo, cocktails with some of my fellow bloggers, at least one night in WeHo and...(drumroll please)...a pitch meeting with the director and producer of that Muslim project.

Enjoy your weekend, I'll let you know the 411 when I'm back.

Back in hot water...

2005-11-07T21:55:00.000-05:00

I have survived Round One of the Writer's Arc contest. Yippee!

NOW, that means I've got boat loads of elbow grease to apply to my script polishing that puppy before sending it off.

GULP.

Oh, my aching head....

2005-11-03T02:13:00.000-05:00

So, I haven't been blogging. Wanna know why? Do ya care? You do? Ok, then, I'll tell ya. Cause I've been reading, reading, reading everything I can get my hands on about Islam. I've been at it for hours, everyday! I doubt there's anything more that I can force into my oversaturated brain, tiny as it is.

WHEW! Who knew there was soooooo much info?

Did you guys know there are 72 (YEP, SEVENTY TWO!) different Islamic sects? I mean I know Christianity has its own sects but 72? Holy Mecca! And (showing my ignorance here) I thought Muslims prayed once a day. You too? Well, we're both wrong. They pray 5 times per day! Spaced fairly evenly throughout the day. It so they are constantly reminded of God and can ask for guidance and forgiveness... they pray just before dawn, (I haven't seen dawn in years... unless I was awake from the night before!) noon, midafternoon, dusk (sunset) and finally at night just before going to sleep. And... they wash before every prayer, it's a ritualized thing. I won't go into it here but it's a heavy duty scrubbing.... surgeons ain't got nothing on these peeps!

So, please accept my apolgies for the lack of posting. I would promise to do better but I'm not sure I can. I still have the treatment to write! That reminds me, gotta go! See ya!

I've been quoted!

2005-10-25T22:24:00.000-05:00

Alex Epstien sent me an email asking what my thoughts were about the "L Word"... Showtime's lesbian drama. Probably since I had made a comment that the second seaason was a disappointment and if the show didn't improve in its' third season I was cancelling Showtime.

He was gracious enough to quote almost all of my reply on his blog. Check it out here:* www.complicationsensue.blogspot.com/2005/10/writergurl-on-l-word.html

*links doesn't seem to be working for me, and I don't know how to fix it. So, you'll have to cut and paste into your browser... sorry!

If you've time, I'd recommend reading ALL of his blog. There's tons of useful info and only the occasional political post.

Update to the car wreck....

2005-10-23T22:34:00.001-05:00

The guy WAS drunk. He's in jail by now. They got a wrecker to tow away his crappy car. No one knows if he had insurance. The firefighters came and looked at the structure, evidently the columns are just decorative so that's cool. My neighbor was sitting on her couch about 8 feet away from where he finally stopped. Her fence is toast, but she's OK. I think the building's insurance will take care of the fence and the column since her yard (unlike mine) is part of the common property of the building. Thankfully, no one was injured. The driver evidently was so drunk he sustained no injuries. A wreck like that would probably have hospitalized a sober person.

Can you imagine? My neighbor was sitting there, on her couch, watching "Desperate Housewives" and THIS happens.

It's like something out of the movies or something!

The conference call...

2005-10-23T22:24:00.000-05:00

.. went well, lasted for a little over an hour. The director has a basic idea for the story, but it is in dire need of fleshing out and being structured. Guess that's what I'm for, huh? They've asked for a treatment. There are 2 other writers they've asked for a treatment. There IS pay for the script. We have not talked numbers. If my treatment is greeted with huzzahs (instead of wails of protest and rending of cloth), then I'll be looking for an agent or entertainment attorney to do that part for me. I'm doing research on the Islamic faith, and I'm trying to come up with the story. Which involves lots of staring into space and letting my mind do it's thing. We'll see what it spits out... there's no telling.

In the blink of an eye...

2005-10-23T22:17:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I live in a building that fronts a major throughfare in Atlanta and there's a quiet little side street that borders one side of it. The architects purposely set the building back from the major thoroughfare and erected a brick wall (about 4 feet high) to keep auto accidents from taking out the building. There's also a grassy knoll that our building is built on.

They never envisioned what happened tonight.

WITHIN the last 15 minutes, a driver (whom we all think is drunk) has rammed into at least 3 cars parked on the side street, leapt the curb and rammed into our building, taking out a black wrought iron fence on the way to annihilating a column and almost landing in my neighbor's condo. Luckily, he was able to stop before he reached her patio doors. Nevertheless, the fence and the column (which we are all praying is merely decorative since there's a patio above it) are gone, the guys' car is seriously messed up and there's at least 3 cars with severe body damage. One of them has its' bumper laying on the street.

There's 6 cop cars outside and the guys is being handcuffed. Thankfully no lives were taken. Hopefully, this will be this guy's wake up call, if he is indeed drinking and driving.

Wow. What a night.

Y'all stay safe out there.

Oy...

2005-10-19T00:56:00.000-05:00

I have a conference call scheduled for tomorrow with the director and producer who have read (and liked) my writing sample.

Frankly, I have no idea what the next step is. (Beyond talk to them... duh.) All I know is that the film MUST be about Islam. I think it must be something that shows the Islamic faith in a positive light, so no terrorists and Mecca bashing. (Not that I would want to write that kinda stuff in the first place.) I don't have any problem with writing a positive movie about the Islamic faith as I don't subscribe to the notion that all Muslims are terrorists or even bad people. Different than me, yes. But, not automatically bad. Besides, I'm an agnostic so I'm not married to any particular faith. I have been inside a Mormon temple, the Sistine chapel, and my ex's embrace. God was in all those places. I'm pretty sure he's inside a mosque too.

So, the call is set for tomorrow evening, I'll let ya know what the guys have to say. If it goes no further than this, at least I got this far. PLUS (and this is a biggie) I got validation that my work is good. Good enough that complete and total strangers, who don't know me from Adam, (and don't get anything by giving my ego a stroking) like what I do. Heady stuff. That alone is something that many, many writers never get. So, even if the whole thing goes tits up, I'm still thrilled to be talking to these guys.

Keep your fingers crossed... I'm going in.

Mr. Potatohead...

2005-10-16T01:14:00.000-05:00

The bulbous nose.

The Jay Leno jaw.

The vast forehead.

Those ears!

Ladies and Gents, meet the new Bond.

I'm calling him Taterhead Bond... maybe just Tater Bond...

Say it with me y'all...

Bond, Tater Bond

My one true love

2005-10-13T23:26:00.000-05:00

Taken the day I got her, with her very first toy.

To live and write in LA

2005-10-09T19:30:00.000-05:00

I don't live in LA at the moment. I plan on it. Soon.

But...

maybe not soon enough...

for the people who wanted to meet with me about their project.

GAHHH!

Hoah boy...

2005-10-07T00:47:00.000-05:00

Gulp... I'm in trouble now. Someone likes my work. Enough to want to talk to me about (possibly) writing a script for them... Gulp. Wish me luck. I'm gonna call them tomorrow...

Blue...

2005-10-04T22:44:00.000-05:00

I have an ex.

She wore a distinctive scent.

I smelled it today, shopping at the mall.

Blue doesn't look good on me...

My mother, the nut job...

2005-10-04T02:07:00.000-05:00

Ok so maybe I should be more sympathetic towards the woman, after all, she's 75, blind in one eye and speaks broken English. (Even though she's been married to my Dad for 54 years.) Sometimes, though, you just gotta call it like ya see it.

She is nuts.

Lemme explain...

Tonight I told her that I had made up my mind to move to LA and pursue a, not quite mid-life, career change and take a shot at becoming a screenwriter. Here's the conversation...

Mom: What? A scream writer?
Me: No, Mother, a screenwriter. They write movies.
Mom: So, you're going to be a writer?
Me: Yes.
Mom: Well, you got it from me.

Now, that doesn't sound too wacky does it? After all, writing is an inherited trait/talent. Right?

The thing is... I'm adopted.

My favorite photo

2005-09-27T22:55:00.000-05:00

I took it myself.

to answer Scott's question:
Pensacola Beach, FL. Memorial Day weekend, I don't know how many years ago. From the deck of the condos we were staying at, near the old fort at the end of Fort Pickens Road. Taken with a Nikon SLR and with the lens open for about 3 minutes. Don't ask what the f-stop was... that's been long forgotten.

My dog has perfect timing...

2005-09-24T02:49:00.000-05:00

This is my baby, Sophie.

This photo was taken (by moi) of Sophie in the park near where we live. Sophie and I take walks around the park on an infrequent basis mainly because I have a fenced in yard for her to run around in and do her "business". Also, anywhere outdoors, during high summer, in the South, is no place for a fur wearing girl like her. Since it's been cooling down in the evenings, we've stepped up the pace a little and have been doing the park thing more. She loves going to P.A.R.K., since she loves to smell everything and adores chasing squirrels. She's never caught one, but damn if she doesn't give it her all.

The other night, we're walking through the park (think Central Park in a major Southern city) when a very effeminate gay man spied her and began to admire my child (admit it, she's a stunner).

Girly man: Oh, what a gorgeous dog!
Me: Thank you.
Girly man: Is that a boy or a girl?
Me: Oh, she's a girl.

At that moment, my child decides to HIKE her leg and pee.

The very girly man looks at me and laughs. I just give a "What can I do?" shrug.

Girly man: I thought you said she was a girl.
Me: Well, she gets a little confused sometimes.
Girly man: Oh, gurl... it's okay, so do I.

The last part was flung over girly man's shoulder as he chante'd and sahshayed away from me and my apparently gender confused child.

Fuck Tolerance

2005-09-19T22:34:00.000-05:00

I have been absent from my little blog here, of late, but I've been posting comments on various screenwriting blogs in re the whole gay marriage thing. I've about worn my fingers to stubs trying to coherently explain to various people why the present situation is vastly unfair to gays and lesbians in the United States. You can find those fairly long missives of mine on screenwriter John August's blog, where he does a great job of wittily begging the Guvnernator to sign legslation granting gay marriage rights to Californians. California would have been the only state to have done that without direction from the courts. Sadly, Arnuld decided that he's not the hero he portrays in movies and vetoed the bill. In discussing this with both people on the web (I posted a bit about this on Craig Mazin's site as well) and in person, I keep hearing that straight people need to be more "tolerant" of gays.

Fuck that.

Webster's defines "tolerate" as follows:
Etymology: Latin toleratus, pp. of tolerare to endure, put up with; akin to Old English tholian to bear, Latin tollere to lift up, latus carried (suppletive past participle of ferre), Greek tlEnai to bear
1 : to exhibit physiological tolerance for (as a drug)
2 a : to suffer to be or to be done without prohibition, hindrance, or contradiction b : to put up with

Now, most people mean "to put up with" when they say they are "tolerating" someone.

I said it before and I'll say it again now... FUCK THAT.

See, the way I see it is this. You have no right to sit in judgement of me, therefore you have no right to decide that I must be "tolerated". How'd you feel if straight people need to be "tolerated"? How about those with hazel eyes? A crooked grin? Someone who owns a bischon frise? You'd scoff and claim "there's nothing to tolerate"! You know what, there's nothing to "tolerate" here either. If I have not done something to you, personally, something that is just replusive and beyond the pale, YOU don't get to decide that you will "tolerate" me.

You can either accept or reject me, just don't be so condescending as to declare your "tolerance". I don't need or want it.

Links to the blogs mentioned above:
http://johnaugust.com/archives/2005/dear-governor-schwarzenegger-marry-me
http://artfulwriter.com/~clmazin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/101

Liars and psychopaths...

2005-08-21T02:52:00.000-05:00

I belong to a web community of screenwriters. Amateur screenwriters to be precise. (You can check it out at www.triggerstreet.com) The purpose of the site is to allow aspiring screenwriters to upload their finished screenplays and for aspiring filmmakers to upload their short films. Then, the site submits them, randomly, for peer review. Basically, it's free coverage! You review scripts/films, and then you get your stuff reviewed. It's the old "you scratch my back, I scratch yours" dealio. Pretty simple, right? Apparently, not to some people.

When you sign onto the site, you're required to agree to certain rules of conduct. Which includes certain things very similar to the Ten Commandments. Common sense things like, oh, I dunno... thou shall not steal other peoples' scripts, thou shall not bear false witness, just little stuff like that... in other words you promise to behave like a decent human being. Some people just don't seem to "get" this concept.

For instance, this guy showed up on the message board the other day, claiming to work at CAA, and spouting off about what you need to do to "make it" in Hollywood. Basically, he had this really stupid Eddie Haskell like scheme involving major suckage applied to whatever derriere you could get your lips close too. So, after a buncha "Shut up and siddown, you're an ass" posts in response, we all find out (to no one's real surprise) the guy's a fake. OK. Fine. You're an idiot. We knew that already. Buh bye.

What did this get him to use these multiple accounts and pretend to be someone he's not? Beats the hell outta me, I ain't a psychopath. Why would someone do this sort of thing? I dunno. I don't DO stupid shit like that. It'll get you banned faster than you can SAY "Banned." Plus, you know what? We talk about your dumb ass after you've been kicked off the site. Yes, yes, we do. And, uh, no, it's NOT good things. No one is defending your lying ass. We have no sympathy. You don't deserve it.

Sometimes people will come onto the message boards and challenge the system. Most of the time, those kinds of challenges are dealt with professionally and politely by the mods, and often times, the site owner (a partner of Kevin Spacey's by the name of Dana Brunetti) will come onto the boards, chit chat with them, find out what the dealio is and make a decision. His decision is FINAL. After all, it's his site, he owns it, what he says goes. Thems the rules. Most of the time, everybody's cool and life goes on in an amiable kinda way. Sometimes, a member will blow a tire and go completely off track. If they act up too badly, they're usually suspended, after a warning or five. (They're MUCH more patient than I would be, trust me.) There have been cases in which some hot head spouted off, got suspended and then made his/her peace with the powers-that-be and was allowed back onto the site. Hell, one of them was even a mod for a while.

Lately, however, there seems to be people who INSIST on coming back onto the website using another alias without patching things up first. (Sometimes they use multiple aliases in that instance too... wierd, I know!) Now, you'd think that might be all hunky dory, since YOU ain't pissed any more, but you know what? It ain't. Act like your Momma and Daddy raise you to be something besides a lying dog and apologize for your bad behavior. After all, you didn't get suspended 'cause you were being an absolute angel, did ya?

Besides, you're gonna get caught. You're not special. Others have been caught and you will too. All those who think that, in today's society, a HUGE website like that is not going to be able to track which city you are logging into their site from, along with which ISP you're using, PLEASE raise your hands. I'll wait.

Bueller?

Bueller?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

The things you can overhear (or even partake in)...

2005-08-18T02:27:00.000-05:00

You can't make this stuff up. (ok, may you can but I can't.) So, I'm at the gay boy's bar a few weekends ago, hanging with my best friend Dave. We're idly looking at what eye candy is available. We both know the other one's tastes and we'll point out someone we think the other will like.

As I scan the bar I saw this guy come in. Fit Dave's tastes to a T! So, I elbow Dave and the conversation goes like this...

ME
Hey. Look at him.

DAVE
Oh, yeah. I know him.

ME
You do?

DAVE
Yeah, he works out at my gym.

ME
Really? What's his name?

DAVE
(grins)
Stud.

:)

Talk to me, baby...

2005-08-12T00:21:00.000-05:00

I adore how people talk. Deliciously delectable morsels of dialogue that drop, ever so casually, from a stranger's lips can make me salivate. Most people, since they are not writers, don't know when they've said something that I'm drooling over and will probably try to use in my work. A joke, an unintentional blunder (think mega pickles), a particularly eloquent declaration of aggression, or lust, or even... love, they've all moved me. Ah, the power of words. As a screenwriter, the spoken word (as written by us) is one of the most important tools we have in telling our tale. Since I can't come up with all the various ways people talk to each other, voices in my head not withstanding, I consciously eavesdrop. No, I'm not placing bugs or anything. (No need to alert the Feds!) But, if you happen to be standing in front of me at the grocers, talking to your friend, you can bet the crumpled 20 you're holding that I'm listening. Not so much to the things you are talking about but for the delivery, the flow of conversation, or even that little morsel of conversational chocolate. Sometimes, my friends will deliver that perfect little tidbit and not even be aware of it. But, as a writer, I am. Boy, am I ever.

How about y'all?

2005-08-08T15:36:00.000-05:00

"Yipee-ki-yea, mother-fucker"

Yeah, Bruce Willis said it first. BUT. It took a screenwriter to write the words so ol' Brucie baby would know what his character says. So, this post is for all of you who look askance at an aspiring screenwriter, those who say things like "Are ya SURE ya can do something like that?" Or.. "Seems like a buncha work to me." Or, the ever popular "Really? I didn't know you could write." Well, you know what? I can. I can write just fine, fuck you very much. And, I have independent corroboration of that. Just got it in my email today. See, I sent out a short script, as a writing sample, it took what felt like an eternity for the producer dude to read. BUT. It was worth the wait, cause I got the sweetest email from him today. It said, in part, "I liked your script- good pacing, good feel for characters, genuine feeling dialogue." and "I liked what you do."

Music to a screenwriter's ears. Manna from heaven for a writer's starving soul.

So...as a reminder to all those chasing down their own dreams... never stop working to make your dreams come true, and when you get the bogus "support" just mumble under your breath. "Yipee-ki-yea, mother-fucker"

Tha goes to ALL you half hearted "supporters" out there.

2005-08-03T15:49:00.000-05:00

Mega pickles...

A few days after the E-Bay fiasco, Bob got his camera. When he was showing it to me, he enthusiastically pointed to the front of it and blurted out "Look, it's got 4 mega pickles!" Now I know, and he knew, and you know he meant mega pixels, but that was soooo cute, I now call it "mega pickles" too. Every time I see a camera boasting of it's capabilities, I convert it to " mega pickles" in my head. It makes me smile, just like Bob did.

2005-08-03T01:32:00.000-05:00

The day E-Bay saved Bob's ass...

One day, a couple of years ago, I got a frantic call from Bob. It went something like this:

ME: Hello?
BOB: Help me!
ME: With what?
BOB: I think I just bought 14 digital cameras off E-Bay!
ME: What!? How'd that happen?
BOB: I dunno! Help me! It's over Fifteen Hundred bucks!
ME: Well, what am I supposed to do?
BOB: I dunno! Just get here!

Throw the phone on hook,

explain to the dog that Uncle Bob is in no shape to play with her so she'd best behave,

jump in the car,

careen over to his place to find him damn near in tears

ME: Ok, now what?
BOB: I dunno! I tried emailing them but I can't find an email address!
ME: Got a phone number?
BOB: NO! That's why I called YOU.
ME: Whaddya think I'm gonna be able to do?
BOB: I dunno, just DO something

After much frantic searching on the internet, calls to 411 and I-800 info, we discover there's literally no way to contact E-Bay! None. I thought he was going to cry. Until. E-Bay called HIM.

E-Bay: Mr. XXXX, are you sure you want to buy 14 of the exact same digital cameras?
BOB: Oh, there is a God, thank you, thank you, thank you. NO! I don't want all of them. I just want ONE.
E-Bay : Very well, sir, we'll take those charges off.

Moral of the story? Don't be so damned impatient. Click the "BUY IT" button once. Then wait. Or else you're stuck with what you order. Unless, you click it so many times even THEY get the idea something is wrong.

2005-07-29T16:17:00.000-05:00

Surreal life...

I haven't been writing much these days since I'm still not over my funk about Bob. Of course going through the hellish exercise called "moving his things" with his 80 year old Mother the other day did NOT help things. At all. It was an almost out of body experience. The man is not toast yet but EVERYONE in his family is acting like he is. So, I tried to help his mother with his stuff. I sorted stuff for two days before she arrived from his childhood home, putting things in boxes and whatnot. Do you know what she did? She repacked everything. No, I'm not kidding. Why the hell did I bother? Then, I watched while she, her husband, her sister in-law, and her nephew in-law picked over his stuff, discarding things with comments like "I don't like that, that's too big and ugly.". They were talking about a medium sized piece of abstract artwork. Keep in mind, we were standing in the middle of a loft condo. You know the kind... deliberately designed with exposed ductwork and 12 foot ceilings. Of course, she's 80 and has never lived anywhere other than Greensboro NC, so I suppose her tastes would be radically different than a man who's lived in some far flung places; such as Australia and Uruguay.

All I know is; I wouldn't want to be in HER shoes. Mind you, she drove me nuts the entire time I was around her, regaling me with the same story about the two blue wingback leather chairs and the time that she bought one of them for "Bobby". I swear she told me that story 4 times. In 4 hours. But, ultimately, I realized that she must be having a hell of a time with this situation. Going through her son's stuff, deciding what to do with the minutiae of his belongings when so much more important things hang in the balance. I know she loves her boy. I can only hope that she understands that my helping her dispose of his stuff was my way of showing that I love him too.

2005-07-13T13:45:00.000-05:00

Random things...

Ok, so I've been depressed over my friend. Seriously, sleep until ungodly hours of the afternoon and not go to sleep until the light of dawn depressed. Yeah, I'll deal with it, but you'd be depressed too if you were doing this involuntary deathwatch. The proverbial sword of Damocles is not longer just a proverb. It's real and panic inducing. Every time the phone rings, in that instant before I glance at the caller ID, I get seized with the thought "Oh God, this is it. He's gone." Of course it hasn't been, but for the split second, I get this white hot piercing pain. It's quite horrid. I hope none of you have to go through anything like this. Skip it, if you can, trust me, you really wouldn't like this.

Usually, the phone is ringing with something completely inane. For instance, my next door neighbor and long time friend, Lori. Now, Lori and I have been friends since God was a boy. OK. OK. Maybe not that long but since he was teenager. No? Ok, how about since my oldest nephew was a boy? He's now a "growed up" as he used to call adults. Suffice it to say, we've known each other for a really long time. We're both lesbians but she's as handy as the most helpless, straightest woman available at the Home Depot on a Saturday afternoon. She has a girlfriend but Marsha's not much help in that department either. So, she calls me. Lucky me. Toilet not working right? She calls me. Big CRASH in the middle of the night from closet system the developer slapped into our condos being ripped out of the walls? She calls me. Can't figure out what's wrong with her lamp? She calls... you guessed it. ME. Which would be fine, except for the heart stopping, adrenaline pounding mili-second where I'm convinced someone's dead.

2005-07-11T13:24:00.000-05:00

My Friend is dying...

His name is Robert. He's 48, and it breaks my heart that he will likely never see day one of 49. He's 6'4" tall and currently about 135 pounds. He's a good man, as well as a gay man. He's been in the hospital, almost without break since March. HIV postive for over 14 years, he crossed the threshold into AIDS territory about 18 months ago. It's been an epic battle ever since he was diagnosed. One that, I suspect, he's grown tired of fighting. Some people would urge him to keep up the "good" fight but I know how tired of all this he truly is. He dreads hospital emergency rooms so much that he endured an entire day of intense pain, writhing around in bed in agony, demanding that I not call 911 before I finally ignored his pleas and called them. For some reason, one I can not fathom, he feels as if being sick like this somehow emascualtes him. He HATES taking all those damn pills every day but if he doesn't then he will die. Sooner, rather than later. I would, of course, prefer later, much later, but that's not my call. My friend, if you must go, I'm glad that you are in a place you love, and I hope that the pain and suffering doesn't get too intense. Before you go... one last time, just so you know and can take it with you... I love you.