Sunday, November 27, 2005

I had a worse day than the turkey!

It's true... ok, it may JUST feel like it's true, but still...

1. On Wednesday, my car decided it no longer needed to start.

2. It's still not working. Monday is the earliest it'll be ready.

3. I'm in the MIDDLE of a job! I need wheels to finish that damn J.O.B!

The BEST part of Turkey day??? Talking to the crazy Asian woman who adopted me... (btw... I'm on EST and she's on PST, I wouldn't want you people to think I'd call her at midnight, if I had my druthers I wouldn't call at all, but that's another story.)


It's late, almost midnight, and she can't put it off any longer...

WG steels herself for the obligatory phone call...

She sighs and pushes buttons.


The ringing of the phone pierces the dark, cold house where puffs of breath create mists of gray as MOTHER heads towards the couch and phone.

She drops to the couch and hears her adoptive daughter's voice on the answering machine she uses to screen calls.


WG: Mother, pick up the phone, it's your daughter... hello... Mother!

MOTHER: Why you not call me, when your Aunt sick?

WG: Because, Mother, Cuz had already called you.

MOTHER: You should have called, anyways.

WG: Cuz had already called you by the time I got the message.

MOTHER: She did not! She call 3 days after!

WG: Mother, that is not true, she called you the day it happened.

MOTHER: No! 3 day! You no call. Your Father think Cuz his daughter!

WG: Well, since you never let me speak to him--

MOTHER: You no call! She call!

WG: The phone works two ways Mother. Besides, Cuz's a drunk.

MOTHER: No, she stop.

WG: In what universe? She's still drinking, Mother.

MOTHER: She tell me she stop! I tell her I give her ten thousand dollars, she stop.

WG: I hope you didn't send the check.

MOTHER: Your Father no like you. He think she his daughter!

WG: Funny, that's not what he told me the last time I saw him. He said he loves me.

MOTHER: You bad daughter. I always wanted a daughter.

WG: Yeah, well, I always wanted a Mother. Too bad neither of us got what we wanted.


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