Monday, March 13, 2006

Something about songs, again

So, yesterday I'm driving around town shopping for my Uncle's birthday present which is today (Happy Birthday Uncle Al!) and I'm doing my normal change the radio station when the commercial comes on thing. Top 40 station? Nope. Other top 40 station? Hate that fucking banana song. Jazz station? Ugh, not Kenny G again. Alternative station? Not interested in thrash metal, pass. Country station? Commercial, next. R&B station? Caught the last few moans from Barry White. Classic rock station? Surprise! My first "our song", ah, the memories... taking me back in time.

It's my senior year in high school and I've a new boyfriend, Mike. Mike, with the grey/blue eyes and the perfectly chiseled face. Mike, who wrestled and played third base. Mike, who lived 27 miles away from me and called every single week night to talk to me for hours on end about who the hell knows what. Mike, who I had sex with in his bed when his parents (what the HELL were they thinking?) left us alone in the house while they went out to dinner. Mike, the guy who taught me how to bowl (I still can't bowl... I think it was because I really WASN'T concentrating on the "finer" points of anything but Mike when he wrapped himself around me to show me how to throw the ball). Mike, who's battery died while we were making out in the empty field up the road from my house and had to spend the night on the couch under penalty of death if he so much as stuck a toe in the direction of my bedroom. Mike, who confessed that he'd been walking a girl to her classes (she went to his school, I did not) and whom he thought he might want to go out instead of me... the first person (sadly not the last) who cheated on me. Mike, who would become a Marine, and the last guy I ever slept with.

Wonder what ever happen to old Mike?

And, really, what is it about songs? They seem to crystalize and encapsulate a part of our lives, freezing them in time, preserving not only our memory of that time but somehow getting us in touch with exactly how we felt. Even if those feelings have faded with the slow erosion of time. Would that I could write something, anything, that has that much power and resonance. Songs are so powerful for me that I can not listen to songs that remind me of my ex. Perhaps, one day, I'll be able to listen to those songs with the idle nostaglia that I experienced when thinking about Mike. One can only hope...

Today, out of nowhere, 2 songs on two different stations... both of them, "our songs". Yeah, well, honey, it no longer looks like "You're still the One" and I've run totally out of "Patience". Sigh. Stupid songs.


At 1:12 AM, March 14, 2006, Blogger Patrick J. Rodio said...


How cute.

Know something funny? A friend of mine used to sing The One I Love by REM to his girlfriend and she thought it was the cutest thing. Gues she never really listened to the lyrics.

At 10:34 AM, March 14, 2006, Blogger Brett said...

Ya know what stinks? Jumping into a blog in progress and tripping over factoids and personal tidbits that all the established readers understand.

Cool post. After having read some more posts, now it even makes sense to me!

(And, yes, it helps that I'm a moron).

At 11:44 AM, March 14, 2006, Anonymous alexandra said...

Ah Songs. We all have them and what's amazing is the clarity with which I can remember all the tiny intimate details of an event that happened well, eons ago, simply hearing a couple of bars. While I can't for the life of me remember the bastard whatshisname from yesterday on the phone... the one who's driving me crazy saying yes, no, well maybe if we can just dig up that extra mil. I've taken to calling him Ricky Martain because all the way through yesterday's conversation Rick was singing: Are you in it for money...

No Rick, I'm in it for love.

At 6:50 PM, March 14, 2006, Blogger writergurl said...

Patrick, dude, I'm lamenting lost loves and you think it's "cute". What? Have we got another case of "internet miscommunication"?

Brett, glad you enjoy the blog, hope you have fun catching up.

Alexandra, yes, well, Ricky Martin wants everyone to shake their bon-bon so maybe your guy will get his butt in gear. Let's hope so!

At 3:53 PM, March 16, 2006, Blogger Georgi Rimsakov said...

Great blog. I enjoy a good lament once in a while.

At 12:21 AM, March 18, 2006, Blogger Patrick J. Rodio said...

No, no miscommunication here. I just pictured you swaying with your ex to "You're The One."

At 12:36 AM, March 19, 2006, Anonymous H. Raven Rose (Hadassah) said...

Like your blog. Am wondering if I got this right. This guy, Mike, fucked you over in highschool and you either never slept with another man/boy AKA boy/man again and are celibate or else you are a lesbian? If this blog entry was a movie, I think I missed something. In any event I am sorry for the pain, pain, pain and what goes around comes around so I'm guessing Mike has gotten his, and if he didn't you can always villainize him in a script. I persoally am a writer because I didn't know the best thing to do or say at the time, and spent hours rewriting my life and now I do it on paper with imaginary people. Mmmm, yup, I'm nutz.

Smiles and Writing FLOW to you,
H. Raven Rose

At 12:21 AM, March 21, 2006, Blogger writergurl said...

Olaf, glad you enjoyed the blog. You'll find the odd lament here every now and again. Typically it's about that girl o'mine. Whoops... ex girl o'mine.

Patrick... yeah, we didn't sway so much as move together sensously... ;)

HRR, Dear me, NO! I wasn't "heartbroken" over Mike. Sure, I cared about him but heartbroken? Hardly. Pissed off is more like it. And, just as an FYI, nothing and nobody "turned" me gay. I was born this way. Hardwired, if that helps with your concept of being gay. While I'm not an "easy piece" I'm ceratinly NOT celibate. I AM a lesbian. It just took me longer than some to figure it out. Hey, I might have been slow, but I quickly made up for lost time, if-ya- know-whud-I-mean! ;)


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